


Sweetheart

by caiuscassiuss



Category: Naruto
Genre: Everyone is an idiot, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Multi, also pain is satan, and sasori is somehow sixth in line for the throne, but the one you needed, i hope u guys like this piece of gratuitous trash, itachi is antichrist, team 7 are childhood friends and are basically siblings, the akatsuki blackmail sakura through naruto and sasuke, the akatsuki teased sakura when she was little and luuuuurves her now, the frat au you never wanted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caiuscassiuss/pseuds/caiuscassiuss
Summary: In which Sakura becomes the unwilling sweetheart of the Akatsuki fraternity. MultiSaku, Frat AU.Crossposted on FF Net.
Relationships: Akatsuki/Haruno Sakura, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Deidara/Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura/Hidan, Haruno Sakura/Nagato | Pain, Haruno Sakura/Sasori, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Madara, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 213
Kudos: 674





	1. Alpha Kappa Epilson

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first piece of Ao3 and I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> Notes:  
> \- Alpha Kappa Epilson is the fraternity the Rookie Nine and the Akatsuki are in  
> \- Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke are childhood friends  
> \- All of Sakura's friends are in Greek life but she aint about it lol

“ _Definition of a fraternity sweetheart: "Sweethearts are women chosen by the brothers, women who have been around (the fraternity), who have hung out a lot... They serve as party guests, public relations advocates, friends to the brothers and various other capacities."_

* * *

"What." Sakura stated flatly.

Sasuke and Naruto cringed at the tone of her voice, Sasuke haughtily turning away while Naruto laughed sheepishly.

"Uh, so what do you think of being the sweetheart of Alpha Kappa?"

Her green eyes scrutinized harshly and her childhood best friends seemed to wilter even more under her gaze.

"Guys, you _know_ what I think about Greek life…"

"But Sakura! We need you!"

The girl scoffed at the blond's whining. "Idiot, don't you have Konan?"

"Konan decided to spontaneously take a year off to Europe," Sasuke stated, crossing his arms and looking petulant.

"Aren't there, like, tons of girls on campus who'd want this? Also, why are you guys the ones asking? Usually it's Pein and Itachi who'd be extending offers for this position, right?" Sakura asked, taking a sip out of her pink drink on the campus StarBucks.

"Well, yeah, but they decided that since we know you better and we're lowly sophomores they made _us_ do it," Naruto explained, downing his Red Bull.

"Okay, but why me? I hate every single senior in your fraternity and they _know_ it."

"It's because they're _masochists—"_

"Pein said you boosted morale, dattebayo—"

Sasuke and Naruto responded at the same time and glared at each other.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "That's absolute bullshit— well, maybe not the masochist part because I keep on hitting them and they keep on getting up like _bugs_ — but either way, _hell_ no."

The blond boy pouted. "Sakura, think of the parties! You'll be invited to every single one!"

"Between you guys and Ino, I'm already invited to every major Greek event on campus and I still decline because —no offense— frat guys are douches."

Naruto looked like he was going to argue, but quickly closed his mouth.

"Sakura, please reconsider. It looks good on your resume," Sasuke offered, finally putting his two cents in.

"Sasuke, your entire batshit insane family is in that fraternity. _No_."

Both Naruto and Sasuke opened their mouths to argue, but Sakura held up a finger.

"My final answer is no. I'd rather poison them than give them baked goods and they're all assholes."

The set in her brow signaled to the duo Sakura meant serious business and if they kept on pushing, would probably end up with a bump on the head.

 _Well, it's not like they didn't try_.

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me, Sakura? Alpha Kappa? _Alpha fucking Kappa?_ " Ino spit out, pulling at her long hair in distress.

Sakura looked at her blond best friend weirdly and continued painting her nails. "Yeah? So?"

Ino looked like she wanted to shake Sakura but refrained and grabbed a stuffed animal instead. "Sakura, the _Akatsuki_ invited you to be their sweetheart!" At this point, Ino started squeezing the poor stuffed animal viciously. "Every single sorority sister on campus would die to be in your position right now!"

Sakura sighed and put down her bottle of nailpolish next to the Biochem textbook she was supposed to study. "I don't get the hype around them, Ino. I've known them since I was like, nine, and they're still little shits."

"Every guy tries to rush for them but they only take a few guys every year. They're a big fucking deal, okay? Alpha Kappa was one of the first frats established in the country and everyone knows if you'll go somewhere in life!"

Sakura pursed her lips. "I mean, look, if it were just Sasuke and Naruto I would've put up with everything and accepted but every single person on their executive board is an asshole, okay?"

Ino crossed her arms, emphasizing her well endowed chest, before narrowing her eyes. "They may be assholes but they're _hot_. And, like, half of them have connections to royalty."

"Only Sasori does. Nephew of Suna's monarch, sixth in line for the fucking throne. And that bastard _flaunts_ it," Sakura hissed.

"But Sakura, surely they aren't that bad? You hung a lot around Sasuke's ridiculous compound and the Akatsuki always congregated there."

"They did and it's because it's the only secure place in the area to host the nephew of Iwa's Prime Minister, the cousin of our Attorney General, and the orphan son of a dictator."

"See? Well-connected." Ino ribbed her best friend.

The pink-haired girl glumly set her chin on her hands. "They all teased Sasuke but when he started bringing us over they all ended up harassing _me_."

"So? All teenage boys do that."

"Ino, I couldn't date any boy in high school!" Sakura whined. "Those idiots scared all of them away."

Ino frowned. "Okay, kinda not cool but that's teenage boys being overprotective. It's not like Sasuke and Naruto wouldn't have done the same thing if the Akatsuki hadn't beaten them to the chase."

"Yeah, but they all picked on me! You know those shitty best friend's brother Wattpad fics? It's like the opposite of that. All the way through elementary to high school. They'd pull my hair, steal my food, post embarrassing pictures on Instagram, and a whole bunch of other stuff!"

The blond-haired Fashion Merchandise major had a contemplative look on her face. "Hmm. Interesting."

"What, Ino, what?"

"I think you should seriously consider their invitation. Besides, it's not like you could escape Greek life when all of your best friends are a part of it."

Ino slanted a look towards her. "I mean, think of all the hot sex you could have—"

"INO!"

* * *

_Duck-face: Sakura where are you_

_The Idiot™: sakura-chan_

_The Idiot™: sakura_

_The Idiot™: sakuraaaa_

_The Idiot™: sakuraaaaaaaaa_

_Duck-face: shut the fuck up Idiot_

_The Idiot™: dont shut up me basterd_

_Duck-face: i can't believe ur a senator's son and can't even spell 'bastard' correctly_

_The Idiot™: fuck u_

_The Idiot™: ur cousin is the attorney-general and u can barely speak to a crowd of ppl_

_She-Devil: all of u shut up bc both of u are dumb_

Sakura, slightly out of breath, walked over to the section of the quad where Sasuke and Naruto were sitting.

"It's been 10 minutes and you can't even stop arguing?" she complained, setting down the three Boba teas for them.

"Sasuke has one of those punchable faces, okay?" Naruto said.

Sakura giggled and stabbed her straw viciously into the plastic cover of the cup. "Remember when I decked Sasuke in the face because I thought he was Itachi? Sasuke kept on getting offers from girls to play nurse!"

"Ha! And he looked stupid with his pretty face bruised for a week!" Naruto snorted, and the pair of them cackled like a pair of hyenas— an unimpressed jungle cat looking on.

"You wanna go? Let's talk about your crush on me in 7th grade," Sasuke shot back, sipping his bitter winter melon bubble tea.

Sakura gaped and then whacked him over the head. "How dare you! We agreed to NEVER mention that! That's forbidden! Banned!"

Naruto held his hands up between his two best friends. "Okay, we didn't come here so Sasuke could end up in the hospital again—"

"Hey—"

"— but we got together so we could hang out. Like _friends_. So no serious injuries, HydroFlasks must remain out of sight, and Sakura, stop weaponizing stationary."

Sakura, whose hands were inching towards her pencils, pouted.

"Also, me n' this broody bastard wanted to ask you something," Naruto stated matter-a-factly, looking towards Sasuke for reassurance. The pale, black-haired boy nodded.

"So we—"

"This is not about being sweetheart is it?" Sakura cut in.

Naruto floundered for a second and looked towards Sasuke again, who offered no help and sat studiously on his phone.

"Uh, kinda?"

" _Naruto_."

"Sakura-chan please consider it! Our frat needs you!"

The pink haired girl put her hands on her hips and stared the much taller blond boy down. "You make me get you boba tea and then invite me into the 9th circle of hell?"

"Well, it's not that bad, dattebayo." Naruto scratched his head, chewing on the boba pearls. "Maybe like the second circle because they're all horny as fuck."

Sakura paused in her anger and nodded, impressed. "Huh, I didn't know you knew Dante."

The blond-haired boy, who had just read the SparkNotes on the _Inferno_ for his Lit class, puffed up his chest. "Yeah, I'm just _that_ smart."

Sasuke threw him a look. "Sometimes, I doubt you can even read."

"Hey!"

"ANYWAYS, my answer is still no! I love you guys but, Sasuke, your older brother and his friends suck ass and I'm too busy to be involved in Greek life!"

"Sakura, you can still chair your gazillion student organizations and maybe solve cancer on the side while bringing some food to the house once in a while," Sasuke said. He then tilted his head to the side, a stubborn look in his eye. "Please."

Sakura blinked, in shock of hearing Sasuke saying please for the first time in a near decade, while Naruto searched his pockets for a crinkled paper list.

"Aha!" He said victoriously, holding up a piece of paper. "I've even got a list of what you have to do and it isn't even that bad!" The blond boy then unceremoniously shoved the paper in Sakura's face.

Sakura smacked Naruto away and grabbed the paper, running a contemplate eye over it.

_Responsibilities for the Alpha Kappa Epsilon Sweetheart_

_Written by the Executive Board_

  * _bring us food once in a while_
  * _appear at our rushing and promotion events_
  * (off to the side, erased, but still visible) _help us have a good time if you know what i mean_ (Sakura could recognize Hidan's unfairly pretty handwriting)
  * _help fundraise_
  * _assist in set up for parties_
  * ~~_MUST play strip poker and truth or dare_~~
    * _Please ignore, that's Deidara being a fucking perv_
  * _just be there for the boys_



Sakura could only stare in silence at the note, unable to speak.

"See? It's not that bad, right?"

Sakura's eyes narrowed and she suddenly tore up the list, crushing the scraps of paper underneath her sneakers. "Who the FUCK do those douchebages think they are? And they want ME to do that! I think the fuck not!"

Sakura motioned to stomp away, taro bubble tea in hand, but Naruto caught her arm desperately.

"Naruto, let me go!"

"Sakura-chan, please!" The blond sobbed dramatically, "We need you!"

"No you don't!" Sakura yelled, trying to yank her arm away from Naruto's grasp.

Out of options, Naruto dropped to his knees while dramatically pleading with Sakura and Sasuke looked away, pretending he didn't know them.

"Naruto!" he hissed at the side of his mouth, looking at the curious students who paused at the weird sight Sakura and Naruto made. "You're drawing attention! Quit it!"

"Shut the fuck up Sasuke I'm doing this for us so help me God—"

"Naruto, I'm going to kick you in the balls if you don't let me go—"

Sasuke got up, grabbed a good chunk of Naruto's blond hair, and yanked him backwards, causing Naruto to stumble backwards into Sasuke and they both toppled over like a sad Jenga tower.

The pink-haired girl righted the sleeves of her hoodie and turned her burning gaze to the two of them. "Why are you guys so desperate? You weren't like this last time."

Sasuke scoffed while dusting his jeans off. "Well, if it weren't for this fucking idiot we wouldn't have gotten _drunk_ —"

"You shut up! Your Satan-reincarnate brother who _pushed_ us—"

"GUYS! Shut up and speak one at a time!" Sakura shouted.

The two of them paused and sat back down on the bench. Naruto went first, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay, so, uh, me n' this bastard went to a party two weeks ago and—"

"We're being blackmailed."


	2. Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura thinks consent is sexy. It really is, but the Akatsuki are willing to negotiate.

"Okay, so, uh, me n' this bastard went to a party two weeks ago and—"

"We're being blackmailed."

* * *

Sakura snorted. "I'm surprised you guys have enough dignity left to be blackmailed."

"But it's serious this time," Naruto whined, shoulders drooping.

"Sakura, believe me, I don't want you anywhere near those assholes either but my family would crucify me if that photo came out." Sasuke ran a hand through his overly-gelled hair, sighing.

The pink-haired girl cocked an eyebrow. "Photo? Do tell."

The boys in front of her looked at her, looked at each other, and then promptly turned away, blushes apparent on both their faces.

Like a dog catching onto a trail, Sakura perked up and leaned in closer. "C'mon, out with it. I've seen you dressed like trees for a school play so there's nothing that could surprise me now."

Sasuke clenched his jaw, but acquiesced. Instead of talking, he pulled out his phone and swiped a few times before handing his sleek device to her.

Peering down at the phone, Sakura took one glance at it and started hysterically laughing.

"Oh my god," she wheezed, holding her stomach as tears leaked out the corner of her eyes, "— this is absolute gold. Please send it to me!"

"Christ, Sakura, this is some serious shit!" Sasuke hissed, holding the phone close to his chest while surreptitiously looking around.

As soon as Sakura calmed down, her face red and slightly wet from her tears, she took back Sasuke's phone to look upon the glorious picture once again.

The picture was clearly taken at a party, red solo cups dotting the foreground and background and in dim lighting. However, the main event were the two figures in the middle —Sasuke and Naruto— clearly inebriated.

And clearly locking lips.

Obviously, they were caught by surprise by how wide their eyes seemed and the way a disembodied hand was planted on Naruto's back, propelling his forward. The flash was bright and there was no way anyone could deny how the two boys' lips were mashed together.

A curl of laughter threatened to burst up from her chest, but Sakura restrained it and turned towards Naruto, who had his face in between his legs.

"So," Sakura's mouth twitched into a grin before flattening, "—how did this happen?"

"Antichrist," Sasuke seethed.

"—Itachi," Naruto helpfully translated.

"And so what did Antichrist do…?" Sakura pressed.

"Me n' Sasuke didn't remember shit but this is what Kiba told us, like, a few days ago. Apparently I was standing on a table somehow while arguing who was gonna win next week's game with this bastard— obviously the Packers, dattebayo— but this bastard's older brother came out of fucking nowhere—" Naruto gestured, eyes and hands wide, "— a pushed me into Sasuke!"

"And Zetsu just happened to have his camera out," Sasuke groused, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Sakura tried to contain her laughter, she really did, but her chest hurt from holding all the air in and burst out laughing again.

"Are you done yet?" Sasuke asked, arms crossed and handsome features drawn into a scowl.

"Fine, okay grumpy-pants. So where do I come in?" Sakura asked, tossing her empty cup into the recycling bin.

"Pein said he was gonna release it to the newspapers and post it all over campus if we didn't do what he said!" Naruto groaned, flopping onto the grass.

"He even mentioned taking out a billboard right next to father's office in the city," Sasuke added. "Right in view of where all military contractors meet with my dad."

"Kakuzu would allow this? I thought he was a tight ass with you guys' money," Sakura frowned.

"My uncle approved it," Sasuke lamented, dragging his hands over his face.

The pink-haired girl scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "Madara is the Chair of the Alumni Board, right?"

"Yeah, and he just happens to hate me n' the bastard too," Naruto said.

"So let me get this straight: Pein and the executive board ordered you to recruit me as your sweetheart and when you failed to do so, resorted to blackmailing you with that photo in order to get you to try harder?" Sakura asked, her brow drawn even deeper.

"...yeah, that summarizes it."

"Those assholes," Sakura spit out, clenching her fists. She stood up suddenly, starting the brooding males. "I'm gonna punch the shit out of each one of those bastards. No one gets to blackmail you but me!"

* * *

Sakura, clad in a floaty white sundress, stomped threateningly in the direction of the large, impressive tudor-style house that housed the Alpha Kappa fraternity. Her eyes were narrowed onto the aged oak door while Naruto and Sasuke trailed behind her, weary of the killing intent she put out.

"Hey Sakura," Naruto called out nervously, her mint green Kanken backpack in his grasp, "I don't think anyone's in there right now."

"I don't care," Sakura scoffed in his direction, intent on getting inside the house and spilling some blood with her dainty fists.

Passing by the nicely trimmed hedges and lawn (odd, for a frat house), Sakura knocked (more like pounded) on the front door.

Shifting her wait to one leg and cocking her hip, she tapped her foot impatiently on the stone steps.

The door swung open to reveal a drowsy-looking blond, tank-top hanging off his slender but well-muscled shoulders and baggy grey sweatpants.

"Wha— hey, Sakura. You're looking pretty hot today," Deidara grinned, leaning against the doorway.

"You!" Sakura lunged.

"Holy shit Sakura, that's assault!" Naruto cried, and both he and Sasuke had to physically restrain Sakura from decking their upperclassman.

"Oh shit, the claws are out today babe! In the mood to play I see?" Deidara jeered, shit-eating grin on his tanned face.

"I'm going to slaughter you! Cut you into pieces and dissolve your corpse in a vat of hydrochloric acid!" Sakura threatened, elbowing the much taller Sasuke in the stomach and jerking away from the even taller Naruto.

"Fuck, which fine bitch is talking dirty to me this morning?" a voice called out from behind Deidara.

Sakura's eyes zeroed in on the broad-chested, silver-haired philosophy major who emerged from the starwell, his violet eyes positively glimmering with glee.

"Bro," Deidara greeted casually, not taking his cerulean eyes off Sakura.

"Bro," Hidan offered back.

"I can't believe you guys! Why me?!" Sakura scowled.

Hidan crossed his arms over his naked chest, his Jashin chain gleaming in the light, and tossed his head back in laughter. "Why the fuck not?"

Shaking both Naruto and Sasuke off, she shoved past Hidan and Deidara and into their ridiculously nice frat house.

"Pein! Itachi! Where the fuck are you shitheads!" she called out, her voice echoing in the vast foyer.

"Now Sakura, that's not the way our sweetheart should be talking to us now, is it?"

Sakura spun around in surprise and looked behind her to see Antichrist himself, Uchiha Itachi, standing in the doorway of the dining room with a cognitive psychology textbook under his arm. Sasuke, who was convinced Itachi majored in psychology solely to fuck with people's minds better, glared at this big brother. Itachi smirked, dusting an invisible piece of lint off his navy sweater that hugged his broad shoulders quite well.

"Why would I ever agree to be your sweetheart? How dare you blackmail Sasuke!" Sakura planted both her feet on the ground and glared up at the tall, lithe senior.

"I dare," a smooth voice, albeit with a bit of an accent, cut in from the top of the stairwell.

If Itachi was Antichrist, Pein— the president of their frat from hell— was Satan. In a casual button-up, he started down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom, he addressed the visibly enraged girl calmly.

"Come, let's discuss this all like civilized people."

* * *

Sakura unceremoniously plopped herself on the cushions of the frat's unfairly plush couch, brushing off the gazes of the several men gathered around the room.

"Water?" Itachi offered, settling down on a nearby arm chair.

Sakura shook her head, sort of afraid that if she took their offered food she would be trapped here forever— like Persephones and her pomegranates.

"Sakura, blackmailing Sasuke and Naruto wasn't necessary if you had accepted the first time," Pein said matter-a-factly.

"Maybe, I don't know, don't want to be associated with your frat in any way, shape, or form?" Sakura sarcastically shot back. "No means no and consent is sexy."

"It is, which is why we'd really like it if you accepted our invitation," Itachi said, turning her statement back to her. Pre-law students, Sakura thought angrily.

"Naruto gave you the list, right? Your responsibilities aren't that bad," Deidara added, sitting at the windowsill.

"Yes, along with your very unhelpful additions. It gave me even more incentive to say no," Sakura harrumphed.

"We never said we weren't open to negotiation," Pein said, crossing his legs in an armchair next to Itachi. "Let's cut out Hidan and Deidara from the conversation—" he ignored a cry of protest that came from their general direction, "and just focus on the more formal tasks we brainstormed."

"But I'm not even willing to negotiate!" Sakura cried out. "Wouldn't you want someone more willing? I know tons of girls from Chi Omega would love to take up your invitation. Hell, they would do the tasks those horny idiots over there—" she pointed a finger at the indignant pair of Deidara and Hidan "—suggested in the list."

"But the problem is, Sakura, we don't want any Greek girls as our sweetheart," Itachi said. "We want you."

That statement would be sweet if Itachi weren't looking like he wanted to devour her.

"Besides, don't you want to help Sasuke and Naruto out? You know how Sasuke's father is…" Pein drifted off.

Sasuke and Naruto, who have otherwise been silent, sent her begging looks from their corner of the living room.

"And Minato— your dad all but in name— is running for re-election. Imagine what that would do to his Senatorial campaign…" Pein continued on, extending his trail of thought.

Damn Pein and his International Relations degree, Sakura thought. That bastard is putting me into a corner!

The pink-haired girl looked cautiously around the room. Hidan, who stretched out lazily on the couch with a wicked smirk on his face. Deidara, who was fiddling with some contraction while staring intently at her. Itachi, who had a lazy smirk pasted on his face and finally to Pein, who had a placid expression on his harsh features.

"...You have to permanently delete the photo and sign a collective NDA for Sasuke and Naruto," Sakura bargained, unwilling to concede without her own terms.

"You have to attend our weekly board meeting then," Pein shot back.

"My first priority will always be my school so I reserve the right to choose what events I attend," Sakura couldn't help but add in.

"We wouldn't expect any less, although you must give us advance warning," Itachi said.

"... Fine," Sakura relented with ill grace.

As the Akatsuki members cheered and her best friends sighed in relief, Sakura could not shake the feeling she had signed her soul over to the Devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the second chapter! I'm super duper happy to see a lot of people enjoyed the first chapter. I'm going to try to make the chapters from here on out a bit longer and filled with the Akatsuki's shenanigans with Sakura lol.
> 
> Quick Guide on the info we have covered over these two chapter:
> 
> Naruto: Childhood bestie of Sakura. His dad, Minato, is a Senator.
> 
> Sasuke: The other childhood bestie of Sakura. His cousin is the Attorney-General— Madara. His father owns a private security firm that is contracted by the government.
> 
> Pein: President, Senior. Double Majoring in Intl Relations and Economics.
> 
> Itachi: VP, Senior. Majoring in psych, on the pre-law track. (I also have this head canon Itachi is captain of the Mock Trial Team lol)
> 
> Deidara: Recruitment Officer, Senior. Majoring in Communication and Art.
> 
> Hidan: Sergeant-at-arms, Senior. Majoring in Philosophy.
> 
> Madara: Alumni Board Chairman, Sasuke and Itachi's distant cousin, and Attorney General.
> 
> Anyway, please Review, Favorite, and Follow!


	3. Meeting Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura runs into more members of Alpha Kappa Epsilon's Executive board and gets ready for her first meeting.

"Someone please save me from OChem!” Sakura cried out, planting her face into the table.

Ino looked at the back of her bestfriends head and snorted, rolling her lined blue eyes. “Imagine having to take OChem as part of your major. I took the easiest lab science I could.”

Tenten, who was at the white board of their study room in the library, paused after drawing out a complicated looking graph and looked sympathetically at the pink haired girl. “I feel you, girl. STEM majors stick together,” Tenten said sympathetically, holding out a fist for Sakura to bump.

Sakura, not lifting her head, held out her fist and bumped the Physics major right back.

“I’m sure you’re doing great at it, Sakura-san. You’ve always been the best at these sorts of subjects,” Hinata said softly, smiling over her laptop.

“Thanks, Hinata. I still wanna die, though,” Sakura sighed, pushing her hair back and looking back at her own screen. “Fuck VSEPR theory and fuck modeling them.”

“Speaking of fucking,” Ino said, ignoring the Hinata choking, “You need to get fucked. And from what I’ve heard, any of those hot ass guys from Alpha Kappa would love to.”

“Ino, please, I’ve had enough of them to last a lifetime,” Sakura complained.

“Look, I know it in my  _ bones _ that they are packing,” Ino hissed gleefully, clenching her fist and a determined glint coming over her eyes.

“Big dick energy,” Tenten agreed, redrawing the curve of her model.

“Guys, please!” Hinata squeaked out, her face red and buried in her hands. Her family, conservative tightasses as Sakura called them, had not given her The Talk and was thus unaware of the birds and the bees until she sat in on a mandatory Health class freshman year of college.

“They definitely are packing— I mean, those sweatpants don’t hide  _ shit _ and they  _ know it _ — but have we not forgotten they used to borderline harass me the entirety of my adolescent life?” 

“Yeah, Forehead, but they’re  _ hot _ ,” Ino stressed.

“And respectful,” Tenten added unhelpfully, thinking of her stoic boyfriend Neji— a junior majoring in Finance in Alpha Kappa.

“Naruto and Sasuke-san are in there, so they can’t be that bad?” Hinata said, tapping a pen against her lips.

“Naruto and Sasuke are the only redeeming parts of Alpha Kappa,” Sakura declared. Seeing Ino’s stinkeye, Sakura added, “And Shikamaru.” Shifting her gaze to Tenten’s cocked eyebrow, Sakura sighed. “And Neji.” Hinata motioned to open her mouth, but Sakura cut her off. “Okay, fine! Every junior and below in Alpha Kappa is chill!”

“But sorry, Hinata, I have to disagree with you ‘cuz blackmailing innocent sophomores through their childhood bestfriends is just plain mean, no matter how you spin it,” Sakura wrinkled her nose, sketching a model of some molecule.

“Blackmail?” Ino perked up, smelling juicy gossip.

Sakura cringed. Well, Ino was going to hear about it anyways. “So, uh, remember the sweetheart thing?”

Ino nodded excitedly, while Hinata and Tenten looked at Sakura in confusion.

“Alpha Kappa might’ve, uh, asked me to be their sweetheart a few days ago,” Sakura mumbled.

“And?!” Ino was practically vibrating in her seat.

“...and I accepted because they blackmailed Naruto and Sasuke,” Sakura finished even more inaudibly.

Ino, forgetting their study room was  _ not  _ soundproof, screamed. Several people outside their room looked in—some even with headphones in— and rolled their eyes.

“Ladies!” A forty-something years old librarian scolded, swooping in from nowhere. “This is a library! Keep it down!”

“Sorry!” Ino apologized. “I thought, I, uh, saw a cockroach.”

The librarian shook his head, muttering “ _ Women _ ” under his breath, and left the room while pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“Down with the patriarchy,” Tenten hissed, ready to fight with a green Expo marker in hand. “I am  _ so _ bringing this up in my NOW meeting next week.”

“Okay, yes, fuck gender inequality,” Ino waved her hands. “But you accepted?!” Ino squealed, her voice progressively rising in pitch.

“Only because they blackmailed Naruto and Sasuke! And I negotiated!” Sakura said defensively, crossing her arms and pink, glossy lips setting into a pout.

“My best friend is the sweetheart of Alpha Kappa!” Ino crowed. “I am going to be the absolute  _ shit _ in Chi Omega. Karin can suck my ass with her druggie Phi Delt boyfriend.”

“Congratulations, Sakura?” Hinata said confusedly. She reached out and patted Sakura’s hand. “I’m sure you’re going to be alright. Those boys love you and they’ll treat you okay. Even if they did coerce you.”

“So, what’s the move now? Are they going to dress you in lingerie and parade you around the quad?” Tenten snickered, thinking of the bet a few sorority girls and frat boys had made amongst themselves on Halloween night freshman year.

“Hidan would love nothing more than that, but I negotiated for just regular stuff,” Sakura said. “Helping them fundraise, coming by the house a few times and giving them food, et cetera, et cetera,” she reiterated.

“If they don’t fall for your hot bod and personality, they’ll definitely fall in love with your cooking skills,” Ino snickered, popping some gum in her mouth.

“That reminds me, can you bring some of your oatmeal cinnamon cookies to our next Queer Collective meeting?” Tenten asked. She capped her marker and leaned back against the wall. “We’re talking about trans-rights and…” her voice trailed off and her gaze focused on something behind Sakura.

“Tenten?” Sakura frowned.

A clipped knock came from the door of their study room. Sakura craned her neck to see the glass door behind her and wanted to sink into her chair.

“Sakura, your Alpha Kappa hottie is here!” Ino sing-songed.

Sasori, who had already opened the door, smirked at Ino’s statement and closed it behind him. He was dressed simply in a collared, zip-up sweater and khakis with an expensive looking watch at his wrist.

“Hey, doll,” the red-haired art major greeted Sakura casually in proper-accented English. “Did you check your phone?”

Sakura frowned. “Uh, no? Why?”

Sasori leaned against the glass window behind him and held up his phone (a gold-plated monstrosity of an iPhone and were those  _ diamonds?!— _ ). “We added you to the group chat. Pein texted you, like, an hour ago reminding you we had an exec board meeting at 5.”

Sakura dug out her phone and, sure enough, it was 4:30 and there were a barrage of texts from unknown numbers.

“Ah, shit,” Sakura swore. “Hey guys, I gotta go? Let’s all FaceTime later.”

“That a-alright,” Hinata said sympathetically.

“Have fun,” Ino snickered gleefully.

“Please send me the recipe for those oatmeal cinnamon cookies for our Queer Collective meetings if you can’t make them,” Tenten asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sakura sighed, stuffing her laptop and Japanese Midliner journaling pens into her Kanken. “Bye y’all.”

Sasori held open the door like the gentleman he was and Sakura stepped through, eyeing him suspiciously. The pink-haired girl had seen him push Deidara into a fountain in Italy once, so this was uncharacteristic of the man— even if he was a Suna prince. 

“Thanks,” she told him.

“Anything for our sweetheart,” he ribbed, his eyes alight with something suspiciously akin to victory.

* * *

“I can hold your bag, y’know,” Sasori offered as they exited the main library, his stride casual.

“I can hold my own damn bag,” Sakura huffed.

“Just wanted to be nice,” he said, hands in a comforting gesture. They had just boarded the university transport bus amongst other tired looking students.

Feeling sort of bad for being a bit harsh, she switched subjects. “Also, hey, uh, can you help me with all these numbers in my phone? I don’t know who they are.” Sakura pointed to her phone screen and the daunting amount of messages (99+) she had.

“Sure,” he said nonchalantly, his lidded eyes zeroing on the screen. He put his chin on top of Sakura’s shoulder and peered over. “Shouldn’t you have most of our numbers already? We’ve known you since you were, like, in elementary school.”

“Maybe I did, but I got a new phone from Aunt Tsunade freshman year and most of my contacts went missing,” Sakura said, the hairs on her nape rising as she felt his minty breath next to her ear. Her mouth gaped as she looked at the full extent of her notifications. “How many damn group chats do you guys have?!”

He wrapped his slender, but well-muscled arms around her and pointed at one iMessage chat labeled ‘big-dick bros’. “Well, we added you to our fraternity-wide GroupMe, the sophomore, junior and senior chats, the emailing list with our Alumni Board, and this one— the most important one— is the Executive Board group. We even added you to our Snap group.”

Sakura scrolled through the chat, seeing a bunch of all-caps texts and swearing. “I’m gonna silence you guys,” she said petulantly.

“Sure, doll,” he said breezily. “As long as you don’t silence me.”

Exasperated, she pointed at the first number. “Who’s that?”

“That’s Kisame. That 203 number is that idiot Deidara…” and he continued on, listing all the members of the Akatsuki.

Inwardly, Sakura shook her head in disbelief. She had the numbers of some of the most thirsted-after guys on campus on her phone— Ino was gonna freak.  _ Maybe I could sell these…? _

The driver stopped suddenly and Sakura nearly flew forward, both her hands occupied with her phone, but a strong hand at her waist stopped her.

“Careful,” Sasori said, and with his face so close to hers and the nice smell of his cologne around her she could not help the pink blush that rose to the apples of her cheeks.

His eyes searched hers and his smirk widened, before wrapping his arm more securely around her under the guise of ‘safety’.

Sakura cleared her throat, averting her eyes. “Anyways,” she said loudly. “Instagram?”

The red-haired royal guided them through their social media pages (“Hidan wanted to open an OnlyFans page, but the Alumni Advisory Board said no”) as the bus ride progressed and Sakura slowly unstiffened in his embrace.

“Oh, we’re here,” Sasori said, lifting his head off her shoulder and Sakura sighed in relief. She almost forgot he had once embarrassed her the summer of high school sophomore year when he was visiting the Uchiha compound at the same time. He poured water all over her head, soaking her completely, when she was ritually greeting the Uchiha elders. Sakura was such a sucker for a good-smelling man.

They walked through the most historic part of Konoha University’s campus, and finally stopped at the front door of the frat’s stately house.

Sasori pulled out his keys and looked at her contemplatively. “Hm, we’re gonna have to give you another pair of keys soon.”

He creaked open the door and stepped into the foyer.

“Hey you whores, Sakura’s here!”

* * *

Kisame was the first one to emerge from the stairwell and grinned when he saw the pink-haired sophomore.

“Hey, squirt,” he greeted, playfully ruffling her hair.

Sakura swatted his hand away good-naturedly. She grinned right back. Kisame had always been one of the more chill guys of the group, not really one to go out of his way to embarrass her. She had always seen the pale-skinned senior (who had a bit of a blue tint to his skin) as a big brother figure when they interacted.

“Kisame, what am I even supposed to do at this meeting thing? I just found out about it, like, 30 minutes ago,” she complained.

“You just have to sit there and look pretty, really. But, feel free to add in anything. It’s our first meeting of the year and we’re all trying to get a feel for everything,” Kisame chuckled, walking next to her and Sasori on their way to the dining room.

“Sakura!”

A tall, well-muscled mass barreled into her from a hallway and she let out a small ‘oof!”, unfortunately crashing a bit onto Sasori.

“Tobi!” Sasori barked, his normally placid, lidded eyes narrowed at his fellow Exec board officer.

“Sakura, you’re here!” Tobi yelled, hugging her close to his chest. “Tobi is super excited!”

“Hi Tobi,” Sakura said resignedly, already mentally exhausted two minutes after entering the frat house from hell.

“Pein said you’re our sweetheart now! Is that true, is that true?” The slightly autistic senior said happily, sort of reminding her of a golden retriever.

“Yup.”

At last, they had reached the dining room (“We have two,” Sasori said smugly) and as soon as she set her eyes upon the curly-haired man in the corner she groaned.

“Are my eyes deceiving me or is that itty-bitty Haruno Sakura I’m seeing?” Shisui stood up nimbly, a mischievous grin on his classically handsome Uchiha features.

“Shisui, what are you doing here?” Sakura dryly said, unenthused, as he strode up to her.

“Nice to see you too, cupcake. What’s it been, three? Four? Years that we haven’t seen each other?” He boomed, long limbs grabbing her in a hug.

She patted his back, used to his touchy nature, and he leaned back with his left hand on her waist and the other at the back of her head in order to look at her.

“Don’t you miss me?” he said dramatically, a grin fixed on his face.

“Shisui, the last time we saw each other you stole my phone for 8 hours and ruined all my Snap streaks,” Sakura deadpanned, arms crossed. “So, no, I don’t miss you and answer my question.”

He whistled. “Damn Sak, ice-cold. Anyways, I’m the representative for the Alumni Board since Madara had a meeting with the President. He says hi by the way, and is psyched that you’re our sweetheart now.”

“I thought you were a grad student?” Sakura frowned, trying to remember what Sasuke had mentioned off-hand a few months ago.

“You DO care about me!” He exclaimed as Sasori whacked Tobi over the head with a stack of papers. 

Sakura cocked an eyebrow.

“Fine, fine,” he sighed. “I finished my Master’s in Engineering when you and my itty-bitty cousin entered Konoha U. I work for the military now.”

“Mmm.”

“Military men are hot, right? I hear dress uniform bring all the girls to the yard—”

“Shisui, aren’t you a bit too old for her?”

Itachi, who had entered the room with Hidan, rested an elbow casually on top of a cushioned chair. His long hair was placed neatly in a queue at his back and he wore semi-professional dress.

“Cousin, aren’t you a bit too boring for her?” Shisui mocked, letting go of Sakura.

As he and Itachi settled into good-natured banter, the rest of the executive board filed into the dining room. Hidan and Deidara, who had leered at her before taking their seats. Pein and Kakuzu, nodding their heads. Finally, everyone settled into their seats with a few papers in front of them.

Pein, at the head of the table, tapped the table for everyone’s notice.

“Alright gents, let’s get this meeting started, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura does bullet-journaling and is a borderline vsco girl with her Kanken Backpack and Hydroflask, don’t @ me. I know, deep in my bones, Tenten is avid feminist and LGBTQ+ ally. Also, since Suna is kinda like the Middle East, Sasori is technically like a Saudi Prince and is subsequently obscenely flashy.
> 
> Also, some explanations:
> 
> Alpha Kappa Epsilon, the frat, includes the Akatsuki members as their executive board and the Konoha Twelve as juniors/sophomores. There are more members, but they’re irrelevant for my purposes.
> 
> The Akatsuki, as a group, didn’t go to the same high school/ secondary school. They met frequently, however, in the summer or on breaks at the Uchiha compound and finally could all go to school together in college.
> 
> Sakura only attended high school where the rest of the Konoha members went. That means Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, etc. did not go to school with her and only saw her during breaks at the compound.
> 
> Also, if someone got my tiktok reference I’ll dedicate the next chapter to you lol


	4. Meeting Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's frat meeting from hell commences.

“Sasori, as our Secretary, if you could please conduct a roll-call?”

Sasori nodded and clicked on his laptop. 

“Shisui, Alumni Advisory Board Representative?”

“Present.”

“Pein, President?” 

“Present.”

“Itachi, Internal Vice President?”

“Present.”

And so on it went. Kisame, External VP. Kakuzu, the Treasurer. Deidara, Recruitment. Hidan, Sergeant-at-arms. Tobi, Health and Safety. Everyone was present.

“Sakura, sweetheart of Alpha Kappa, light of our lives and dove of our hearts?”

Sakura, who had zoned out, blinked at Sasori, who was looking at her expectantly.

“...I object to being called that last bit.”

Pein focused his unnerving eyes on Sasori, who propped his chin on the palm of his hand.

“Sasori, do we have quorum?”

“We do.”

Pein then turned his gaze to her. “By executive order, you are overruled.”

A wave of “Aye’s” resounded around the room and Sakura gaped.

“The chair can only overrule if the motion or objection is dilatory!” She protested, banging a fist on the table for emphasis. Model UN came in handy for times like this.

The orange-haired senior tilted his head at her. “As far as I’m concerned, I am god in this frat house and you are therefore overruled.”

_....This is the future of our international politics_ , Sakura lamented inwardly.

For thirty minutes, the board covered their old business and went over updates, insults and swearing bandied around freely being a funny contrast to the still sort-of formal meeting being conducted. Apparently, some of the bathrooms were still leaking and the house was in danger of developing a mold problem so they allocated money towards that. Some low-performing members (none of whom were her friends, Sakura noted with relief) were evaluated and given a plan to improve. Sakura was close to just taking a nap before Pein moved onto new business.

“As for the next object on our agenda, I am pleased to announce, along with Shisui, we have a new faculty advisor. After Dr. Orochimaru unfortunately…” he paused, as the other members shivered with fear, “... _retired_ , Professor Hatake Kakashi has agreed to be our faculty advisor.”

“Kakashi?” Sakura perked her head up. “History Department? Teaches American Military History and History of Peacekeeping?”

This time, Itachi fixed his charcoal-black gaze on Sakura. “Yes, that Kakashi.”

“White hair?” Sakura continued on, disbelievingly. “Wears a mask all the time?”

“Correct.”

“How did you get that lazy bastard off his ass to agree to this?” Sakura said in awe, feeling a grudging sort of respect for the Alpha Kappa rising within her. She had him for History of Peacekeeping freshman year and the poor TA, Umino Iruka, taught most of it.

“By bribing him with porn, yeah,” Deidara said proudly.

“That fucker has great taste too, my god. Only wanted vintage Playboy and Escort magazines,” Hidan added, looking impressed.

“They were too expensive,” Kakuzu lamented, still typing on his laptop (probably contacting his broker or trading something).

And with that, Sakura felt what fledgling respect she had for Akatsuki die a painful death.

* * *

“So, we’ve covered all our new business and have hopefully established functional goals for the upcoming year. Does any member have miscellaneous business they’d like to address?” Pein asked, sweeping his gaze around the table.

Shisui snapped his fingers. “Shit, forgot to give this to Sasori as an item, but Madara wanted one of your fundraisers next month to be planned by the AAB.” He slanted his gaze towards Sakura. “He wants you at all our fundraisers, too.”

“We negotiated that I would attend events on an as-needed basis. If any of these events conflict with my studies, I will not attend,” Sakura stated firmly.

“Aw, Sakura, but you would be a hit for all the donors!” Shisui whined, splaying his palms across the oak table.

“Then schedule around me,” Sakura said, staring the entire board down with her emerald gaze. _They might’ve maneuvered me into a corner with that blackmail bullshit, but I’ll be damned if I give them an inch more_ , Sakura thought heatedly.

“Sakura, think of Naruto and Sasuke. We need the funds to fix the potential mold problem so they won’t get sick, sleeping in their beds at night,” Itachi persuaded, adopting a smooth tone. 

“Did I stutter? _Schedule around me_.”

Shisui looked haplessly towards Pein, who inwardly noted his dictatorial powers and his minion’s persuasive abilities would not work on Sakura for longer.

“Fine, we will carefully plan our fundraising events with Sakura’s schedule in order to ensure her full attendance,” Pein said, resigned.

Sakura grinned happily.

The board chatted a while about some things that had come to mind, until Kisame cut in.

“Hey, should we change our group chat name from ‘big-dick bros’ into something else since we have Sakura in it now?” he asked, scratching his chin.

Deidara scrutinized Sakura carefully and then shook his head at Kisame. “Nah, Sakura definitely has big-dick energy, bro.”

“I second that. Bros before hoes and Sakura is definitely a bro,” Hidan chimed in, looking like he bestowed the highest of honors upon Sakura.

“Saturday is for the boys and we are spending Saturdays with Sakura. Hence, Sakura is one of the boys and therefore we do not have to change our group chat name,” Sasori said matter-a-factly.

“Alright, it’s looking like the general consensus is that we keep our group chat name and Sakura is officially one of the boys. Are we amenable to that?” Itachi announced.

A wave of “Aye’s” overcame the table and Sakura wanted to go home.

* * *

The meeting had adjourned (thankfully) and it was already nine o’clock. Sakura yawned and unceremoniously plopped herself back onto the unfairly comfy couch.

Sakura could feel herself drifting off the sleep with the sound of the TV and the microwave going until she felt a hand pat her shoulder carefully.

“Hey, Sak? You wanna go home and nap there? You can still nap at the house and all, but most of the underclassmen are coming home and it’s gonna get loud.” Kisame said hesitantly, with a concerned Shisui at his side.

“Wanna go home and nap,” Sakura mumbled into the pillow. Shisui thought she looked entirely too adorable, nearly swallowed by the cushions of their couch. Even the spittal of drool looked adorable.

“Hey fuckers! Which of you can take Sakura home in your cars?” Kisame yelled towards the direction of the kitchen.

Immediately, a whole of shouting emerged and Sakura got up and sleepily narrowed her eyes at them. After a quick bit, she decided directing malignant energy was too much energy and laid back on the cushions.

“I have a car! I can drive her back to her dorm, yeah!” Deidara offered excitedly.

“I can’t believe your uncle would allow you to drive that piece of shit you call a car,” Sasori scoffed.

Deidara narrowed his eyes at the fellow art-major. “Not all of us are oil princes and spend their money on Maseratis. Besides, I can’t let my uncle know that I crashed my other car or he might put security detail on me.”

“Your uncle, although incompetent, was somehow elected to be the Prime Minister of Iwagakure. You are a college student. Who would want to murder you?” Sasori sneered disdainfully.

Deidara, outraged on behalf of himself and his uncle, did not know where to start and stuttered inaudibly. The two soon dissolved into an argument and Kisame wrote them off.

“I, regrettably, cannot. My car is in the shop after someone rear-ended me last week,” Itachi sighed.

“Y’all, I can just drive Sakura home. Her dorm is on my way home anyways,” Shisui offered, playing with his car keys absent-mindedly while trying not to stare at the cute scene Sakura made.

Pein, wishing more than ever customs would hurry up detaining his car, reluctantly agreed along with Itachi. Deidara and Sasori, who were now debating the sustainability of Sunagakure’s monarchy, were in no position to agree especially since they weren’t listening.

“Sakura, I can drive you home to your dorm. Are you okay with that?” Shisui asked, bending over Sakura’s curled up form.

Sakura, curling into a wool blanket she had somehow acquired, mumbled.

Shisui exhaled. “Sakura, I need verbal confirmation. Can I drive you home?”

“Yes,” Sakura said irritatedly, drooling into the blanket.

“Okay, Sakura, let’s get you home then and get up.”

Sakura wordlessly held her arms up, asking to be carried, while looking at Shisui with the cutest sleepy eyes he had ever seen. Shisui, looking exasperated while secretly delighted (he hadn’t done this in decades) picked Sakura up bridal style.

“Cuz, can you get the door and unlock my car for me? My hands are kinda full,” Shisui grinned at Itachi, shifting Sakura in his arms.

Itachi wordlessly retrieved his car keys and opened the front door for Shisui, all whilst planning on suing the asshole with the Camaro who rear-ended him a week ago for all he had. 

“Also, I hope you’re not too attached to this blanket, Itachi. Sakura has claimed it,” Shisui chuckled.

“Mother gave us this blanket from her relatives in the UK as a house-warming gift. Either way, I have no objections.”

“Don’t we all?”

* * *

“...so what I’m seeing is that all we have to do to get Sakura in our arms is just to let her have a nap,” Deidara said contemplatively.

“I heard incense works pretty well to put someone to sleep?” Hidan scratched his head. “I could get some from the temple.”

Itachi looked tiredly at Tobi, who was energetic despite his exhaustive major (Comp Sci) and the arduous meeting they had. “Or we could just get Tobi to tire her out.”

Kisame looked up beneath his glasses from his laptop. “What _I’m_ seeing is that all of you are idiots.”

* * *

Shisui looked at the sleeping girl in his passenger seat as he stopped at a traffic light, the orange street lights playing shadows all over her face. God, she had really grown-up hadn’t she? It was only yesterday she was a cute little teenager who appeared like a fairy nymph around the Uchiha compound, making mischief with Sasuke and Naruto wherever they went. Where did that time go?

Feeling the comforting cool, summer breeze through his rolled up window, he was forced to acknowledge the Sakura he saw at the house was one he liked. He liked her fire, he liked the way she effortlessly dealt with the alpha-type males of the frat, and the way she unconsciously charmed everyone to her side. 

Shisui nearly facepalmed into his driver wheel. Fuck. She was 6 years younger than him, his cousin’s best friend, and boy was he in trouble.

The cicadas screeched in the night when Shisui pulled up at Sakura’s dorms.

“Hey, Sak, we’re here,” he nudged her.

She grizzled and looked up at him. “Huh? Oh, cool.”

She made no move to leave and looked at him expectantly.

Feeling a grin pull at his mouth, Shisui asked Sakura, “Do you need me to carry you up?”

She nodded and once again, Shisui was bewitched by the contrast of her strong, spitfire personality that took no shit and the adorable, child-like side of her that emerged when her barriers were down. 

Shisui picked her up bridal-style again and somehow managed to lock his car, and walked in the direction of the door.

“You have a cool car, Shisui,” Sakura mumbled into his shoulder.

He laughed. “Thanks.”

“It looks like a James Bond car.”

“James Bond, huh?” He chuckled, stepping into the elevator. “Think I’m as handsome as Bond?”

Sakura looked up at him in his arms, drowsily glaring at him. “Nice try, bud.”

He laughed. “Fine, fine. So which floor and dorm are you?”

“346D.”

As soon as he made it to her doorway, he awkwardly shifted Sakura in his arms while knocking.

A few beats passed and the sloe-eyed, blond bombshell that was Sakura’s high school best girl friend opened the door.

“Precious cargo, huh?” Ino asked simply, looking appreciatively at his crisp work clothes.

He, however, didn’t notice as his eyes were arrested by the pink girl in his arms.

“Very.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the challengers are off to the races! Hope you enjoyed the latest installment. 
> 
> Okay, so you know that tiktok where the girl is driving in the car and she's screaming, “How is he so HOT? And RESPECTFUUUUUL!” It’s when Ino and Tenten are talking about the Alpha Kappa guys last chapter lol.
> 
> Notes:  
> Model UN: Debate competition where students act as representatives from a certain country to resolve world issues.
> 
> Alumni Advisory Board: Group that guides the interests of the frat. The Chair is Madara, and is composed of Jiraiya, Hashirama, Tobirama, Asuma, and Shisui (the youngest so he has to do all the drudge work lol). Possibly more members, idk we will see.


	5. Pie Shenanigans(?)

_ big-dick bros group chat _

_ Kisame: alright bitches the first football game of the season is next friday what’s the move about that _

_ Deidara: we host our regular party duh _

_ Hidan: those shitheads from Phi Delt are trying to organize their own party this year _

_ Hidan: they finna boutta be fucked up _

_ Hidan: no cap _

_ Pein: phi delt’s party is absolutely not going to happen _

_ Itachi: we do what we usually do.  _

_ Sasori: i got the weed and everything but this time we’re NOT putting tobi on food _

_ Tobi: only one person went home w food-poisoning :(((( _

_ Deidara: bruh that person wAS ME _

Sakura glanced at her phone as her Calculus professor droned on, snorting. She ran a hand through her messy hair and wished the end of the hour would come sooner. Her wish was answered as the electronic bell soon rang and her classmates rushed to get everything in their bags, eager to go get lunch.

It’s only been a few days since she started her sweetheart duties, and so far, she’s done a pretty great job avoiding the frat house. She’s insisted on meeting Naruto and Sasuke faraway from their dorm, much to their consternation, but she hasn’t seen any Akatsuki member around apart from their social media.

She shivered. Following back Deidara’s Finsta account was a  _ mistake _ .

Sakura moved in the direction of lunch hall B, the one that made really good chicken fingers. Most of the students around her looked dead tired even though it was a few weeks into the semester, all of them moving like zombies towards where the food was.

Quickly paying for her chicken nuggets and cup of fruit, she searched the lunch hall until she spotted Ino’s platinum blonde bun at the far corner of the room.

“Ino!”

“Billboard brow! You’re late!” Ino grinned, taping her acrylic nails against the table.

Sakura pouted and sat down, side-hugging Hinata who sat next to her. “Sarutobi may have won a Nobel Prize but he’s dry as fuck and he drones on unecessarily.”

Tenten laughed, her eyes crinkling. “That man does not give a flying fuck about his undergrads at this point. He’s tenured.” Trailing off, the brunette saw a flash of sandy-blond hair out of her peripheral and enthusiastically waved. 

Temari, 3rd in line for the throne of Sunagakure and at Konoha U for her semester abroad studying Poli Sci, wandered over to the girls’ lunch table.

“You’re late too!” Ino sighed, stirring around her salad.

The tan girl rolled her eyes. “Hello to you too.”

“Okay, now that we’re all here we have some serious business to conduct,” Ino stated, a finger in the air.

“Did your Tinder-hookup get creepy and we have to stage your death and or transfer again?” Sakura said tiredly, sipping her water.

“We can’t use hazing as an excuse anymore, since you’re not a freshman anymore,” Tenten contemplated.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Temari exclaimed, brow furrowed deeply. Hinata sighed and explained the Renshi situation to her. After getting the low-down, Temari turned to Ino. 

“We have body-guards and shit. Say a word and his Visa is revoked and he’s mysteriously found in an alleyway,” Temari said half-jokingly.

“Renshi is not coming back. Sakura made sure of that and he  _ did _ end up in an alleyway,” Hinata firmly stated.

“He didn’t stand a chance against me.” The pink-haired girl remembered, viciously, the look on his face as she delivered an uppercut to his face. 

“ANYWAYS,” Ino interrupted, not wanting to rehash her extensive dating record, “—we gotta figure out what we’re gonna wear for the football game.”

“I get it, it’s the first game of the year and all, but we don’t have to dress up for it. We’re going up against some Christian college no one has ever heard of,” Sakura complained. Face paint, while easy to get off, always caused her skin problems.

“But the Instagram pics!” Ino whined. “I have to post on gameday.”

“Along with everyone and their moms,” Tenten jabbed.

Sakura’s phone buzzed and she chanced a look at it.

_ Big dick-bros _

_ Pein: Sakura, respond. _

Tenten, who’s eyes and ears were drawn by the notification, laughed audibly when she saw the name of the groupchat. 

Ino and Temari, who were arguing over the color of facepaint they wanted to wear, stopped and looked curiously at Tenten.

“Look at the name of Akatsuki's group chat! I’m wheezing!” Tenten slapped the table, stealing Sakura’s phone and turning the screen towards the pair.

Ino’s blue eyes scanned the notification before lighting up. “Oh my god, ask them if they can prove it!”

Sakura scrunched her nose in disgust, looking at Ino in disappointment. “ _ That’s _ the first thing you think of? You thirsty hoe.”

Temari, who saw the name of the groupchat, cut in with a half smile on her lips. “No, no, no, that’s too apparent. You gotta ask them how they  _ got _ it first— much more subtle,” she giggled.

“Why do you want to know about their dicks so much?!” Sakura shrieked, drawing attention from the other tables.

“Because you need one to get dicked down by one!” Ino shouted back.

Hinata, who had gone so red at this point it was hard to distinguish her face from the tomato soup she was eating, buried her face into her arms.

Sakura hmphed and unlocked her phone, checking the group chat for Pein’s last message.

_ Kisame: Aight Hidan get the good shit or else Itachi’s gonna freak if you give him alcohol that’s under 20 dollars _

_ Itachi: Untrue. I can drink beer just fine.  _

_ Deidara: ??? you did, like, once _

_ Kisame: and finally, we need a pie we can smash in the MVP’s face _

_ Sasori: sakura can bake, right? _

_ Deidara: somehow, it feels like ur perpetuating gender stereotypes. Shame on u _

_ Sasori: no u idiot none of us can bake for shit _

_ Hidan: ur weed brownies are pretty fire tho sasori _

_ Kakuzu: it would be cheaper to buy a store-bought pie if it’s just going to end up in pieces on the floor _

_ Itachi: it’s always been tradition for our sweetheart to bake a pie for the first game. Konan made one last yr _

_ Pein: Sakura is going to bake us a pie. _

_ Pein: Sakura, please respond. _

Sakura’s phone was suddenly snatched out of her grip and she gasped, blindly grasping for the device. “Ino! You’re a hoe and your mother never loved you!”

Ino took a picture of her angry friend and turned away to type something in quickly, before surrendering it back.

Sakura glared at the girl one more time, who was expecting her manicure, and saw her notifications.

**_Snapchat_ ** :  _ Hidan typing… _

“Holy shit Ino, what did you do?”

The blonde snickered. “Just sent a quick snap to your Group Chat.”

_ Deidara sent you a snap _ .

_ Hidan sent you a snap. _

Sakura, with a morbidly curious Tenten and reluctantly curious Hinata over her shoulder, opened up the app and clicked on Deidara’s name.

The first snapchat was a picture of Deidara’s smirking face captioned with  _ “curious, babe?” _ and a few winky faces.

Slowly, with a sense of dawning horror, Sakura clicked on Hidan’s name.

The picture loaded and Sakura screamed, dropping her phone and covering her face while Hinata fainted.

Temari snatched the phone quicker than Ino (who gave her the stink-eye) and took a look at the snapchat.

Taken at an angle, Hidan was topless and the camera was aimed towards his baggy sweatpants which showcased a certain…  _ print _ .  _ “I can show you why our gc is named that way ;P” _

Ino gaped before closing her mouth. “Oh fuck, he actually is packing! Sakura, you lucky bitch!”

Tenten, stealing the phone from Temari, whistled appreciatively. “Seems like  _ all _ the Alpha Kappa guys are packing,” she winked at the table.

Hinata, who had recovered from that not-so-innocent snap, nearly fainted again. “Tenten! I did not need to know that about Cousin Neji!”

“My eyes have been violated!” Sakura lamented. “And I can’t do anything about it since they haven’t signed the NDA yet!”

* * *

_ Big-dick bros  _

_ Sakura: I’m not paying for ingredients _

_ Sakura: I’ll be there at tmrw _

* * *

“Sasuke, you  _ did not _ miss a class because Supreme was doing a drop.”

The black haired boy merely said nothing and turned his head away, crossing his arms.

“Bro, was this the Takashi collab? Please tell me you copped a hoodie or something,” Naruto asked as they were walking towards the Alpha Kappa house, eyes shining.

“Who do you think I am? Of course I did,” Sasuke smirked.

“Your grade in that class is made up of your attendance!” Sakura stressed, tugging at his expensive t-shirt.

Sasuke gave her a look. “Calm your tits, it’s only a Linear Algebra class. Easy as shit.”

“You may be a math freak but  _ your attendance _ ,” Sakura hissed once again, pulling at the collar of his t-shirt.

“Stop pulling, woman!” Sasuke shot back, tugging away.

Sakura suddenly stopped, an evil light coming over her face. “Oh, what was that I heard? You want me to  _ not _ make that pie and potentially have that photo of you two released?”

“It’s not my damn fault that they haven’t had time to sign it!” 

“Sasuke you’re just digging ourselves a deeper hole, man,” Naruto said sympathetically, removing his letterman jacket in the hot summer heat.

“They’ve bought all the ingredients I sent them, right? I’m not paying for shit,” Sakura asked, the dorm now in sight.

“I don’t know, actually,” Naruto scratched his head. “Last thing I heard Tobi was overwhelmed by the sugar choices at the market. Apparently there’s a difference?”

“How are you guys surviving in that house?”

“Postmates.”

“And vodka.”

“Men are absolutely useless,” Sakura murmured under her breath, purposely not looking at Naruto pouting.

As soon as they entered the house, Sakura steeled herself for the onslaught of shouting. Strangely—thank fully?— thouse was silent as a grave, with the faint sound of the radio coming out of someone’s room.

“Is no one here?” Sakura asked no-one in particular.

“Some tried to wait, but everyone’s busy,” Kisame said, coming out of a hallway.

“Hey Kisame,” Sakura said, waving a hand. “Do you guys have the ingredients?”

“I think so. Everything we got is set on the counter.” Kisame yawned. “Just holler if you need me.”

And so Sakura quickly got to work, dumping her bag on a chair and pulling her hair back. Naruto and Sasuke settled in the living room, the noise level rising exponentially as they switched on the TV to the latest football game.

She scanned the ingredients. They bought a hell of a lot more than they needed, actually. There were four bags of sugar —granulated, refined, confectionery, and brown— on the counter and Sakura felt kind of bad for Tobi.

The hour passed as she prepped and got everything together, sighing in relief as she got the pie in the oven. As Sakura set the timer to 38 minutes, she spotted the whipped cream can out her peripheral and a wicked idea came to mind.

Naruto and Sasuke were still shouting at the TV monitor, and so she slipped out of the kitchen unnoticed.

Sneaking onto the third floor, where she knew all the seniors dormed, she set her plan into action.

She put whipped cream on door knobs and in the cracks on doors. Since she couldn’t access the individual rooms as they were locked, she put them in discrete places in the common area.

Looking across the hall, she saw the bathroom and her grin widened to reveal all her teeth.

The afternoon light flooded the surprisingly neat bathroom and Sakura analyzed what she could do.

She put a line of whipped cream under every sink knob and filled their toothbrush cans in cream. And for her piece-de-resistance, she covered a toilet bowl seat.

Sakura nodded in pride. She flipped off the light switch and retreated downstairs, her evil misdeed quota filled for the day.

* * *

Itachi, walking home from Mock trial practice, entered the frat house at 5 pm to the sound of several people arguing.

“Kisame, you piece of shit, why didn’t you tell us Sakura was here!” Hidan exclaimed, setting his keys down on the counter.

The blue-haired senior looked over the top of his Red Bull. “I made the decision Sakura needed to bake the pie in peace.”

Deidara opened the fridge and took out a Gatorade, downing it in one gulp. “You are the shittiest wingman ever, you know that?”

Pein nodded in agreement, lips pulled into a frown.

After lambasting their External VP, the rest of the crew decided to harass their underclassman— Sasuke and Naruto specifically— and moved to the common area.

Deidara, who needed to use the restroom, climbed the stairs, entered, (not even bothering the turn on the light) and sat on the toilet bowl.

A loud “FUCK!” echoed through the house.

* * *

In the central apartment dorms, Sakura felt a warm glow of satisfaction in her chest as she watched Netflix. Her pink lips pulled into an evil grin.

“Sakura?” Hinata asked in concern, edging away from her roommate. 

“Revenge is so...  _ sweet _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The rest of the night at the Alpha Kappa frat house composed of screaming as the senior members touched whipped cream in places they didn’t expect, and two emergency trips to Walmart.)
> 
> (Also someone please tell me they got the pun at the last line)
> 
> Hi guys! This chapter was kinda hard to write for some reason, but no worries, I have a bunch of ideas for the next chapter. I’m super amazed at the response I’ve been getting and I’m glad y’all are liking my characters!
> 
> Also, in my daily easter eggs, Sasuke is totally a hypebeast. Fight me.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> -Finsta: a spam Instagram account usually full of ranting and shitty pictures. 
> 
> -Mock Trial: Half debate, half drama club as members have to reenact a court trial. Itachi is the lead attorney this year and Konoha U has been dominating the rounds for the past 4 years.
> 
> Next up, look forward to the first football game of the season and the afterparty.


	6. Post Game Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura hangs out with the squad at the first post-game party of the season and whip cream makes another appearance.

The pink-haired girl sighed as she dragged herself to the Alpha Kappa house, which had all of its lights on and the sound of booming music from within. She tugged on her shorts and green Konoha U tank-top, of which had Naruto’s jersey number on it. 

_ Why did Ino go back to her dorms to change?!,  _ Sakura thought.  _ I look  _ so awkward _ pulling up alone. _

“Sakura!” A loud voice echoed in the evening.

Sakura looked towards the sound and saw her high school classmate, Kiba, waving from Alpha Kappa’s doorstep with Shino at his side.

“Hey Kiba. What’s up?,” she greeted as Kiba bear-hugged her.

“Nice ta’ see ya’,” he grinned wolfishly, freshly showered from his football game.

“You did good this game,” she complimented Kiba, hugging the reticent Shino as well.

“Thanks babe. I hate to admit, but our huge lead woulda not been possible without Naruto,” Kiba said, sheepish with a hand in his ruffled brown hair. He was  _ totally _ not trying to flex his biceps in front of Sakura.

Tonight, though, was a fantastic game. Konoha U and that Christian College (who Sakura didn’t remember the name of) struggled briefly at the beginning for the lead, but Konoha won out, 38 to 17. Naruto, as running back, did extremely well this game and Sakura felt proud of her best friend— even if he was an idiot most of the time.

He clapped a hand over her shoulder and guided her into his frat house. “Speaking of which, where is that idiot? I’ve been meaning to congratulate him on being named MVP this game,” the pink-haired girl asked, tip-toeing to see over the tops of heads.

Kiba scratched his head. “Backyard, probably? The other guys are probably setting up a keg stand for him.”

“Thanks!” she grinned, bussing a kiss over his cheeks and not seeing the love-struck look he sent her way.

The pink-haired girl descended down the stairs, waving away the smoke that clouded the air.

Naruto, surrounded by flirtatious girls and congratulatory boys, saw her bright head of hair from above the crowd.

“Sakura-chan!” he shouted, clad in a simple t-shirt and jogging shorts. He had a red solo cup in his hands and looked well on his way to getting drunk, a red flush covering his tanned cheeks.

“Naruto.” Sakura grinned and pushed past his posse. The pink-haired girl got on her toes and grabbed him by the neck, forcing him into a noogie.  _ He was getting too tall to do this easily _ , Sakura pouted.

“Ow! Sak- ah!” Naruto whined, forcefully hunched over.

Sakura gave him an incredulous look and released him. “You get tackled by 300-pound linemen and  _ that _ hurt?”

Naruto rubbed his head. “Have you forgotten you do Muay Thai?!”

“I certainly don’t give people concussions!”

“Naruto has been tackled so many times he’s lost the little brain cells he was born with.”

Sakura and Naruto turned to see Sasuke striding out of the frat house, some sorority sisters  _ clearly _ eyeing him up.

“Why are you guys so mean to me?” Naruto whined dramatically. “I was just named MVP guys!”

Sakura sighed. “Yes, Naruto, congratulations, you idiot. I’m very proud of you.”

“...you did fine.”

Sakura and Naruto rolled their eyes at Sasuke’s reticence.

“Who’s ready to get the party fucking started?!” a rough voice announced from the deck.

Hidan, sporting a tank with the words “ _ Do you even lift, Bro?” _ , stepped down from the patio and dragged a grey Beer keg behind him. The platinum-haired senior raised a bottle of Grey Goose victoriously as the party-goers roared.

The music suddenly was raised up a notch as the rest of the Akatsuki spread out in the crowd, Hidan and Kakuzu headed towards the gang.

“And here’s our fuckin’ MVP!” Hidan grinned, walking up and slapping Naruto on the back. “Makin’ Alpha Kappa proud.”

“Good job, Naruto,” Kakuzu said, looking bored.

“Also hey babe,” Hidan leered, taking in her fit form. “You’re looking good tonight.”

“Hi, Hidan,” Sakura sighed. He took one last good look at her and turned back to Naruto, who looked slightly weirded out his upperclassman wasn’t harassing him.

“As you know, it’s fuckin’ tradition to have our MVP do the first keg stand of the night. We’ll start at 10 when everyone’s buzzed as shit,” Hidan announced. 

“Don’t get too drunk until then.” Sasori, who appeared out of nowhere and stoned as hell, wrapped an arm around Sakura’s waist. “We don’t need you throwing up.”

“Vomit is hard to clean-up. Costly, too,” Kakuzu added.

“Sakura,” Sasori pressed his lips at her temple and focused his hazel eyes towards her. “How’s the party?”

Sakura, unnerved by his intense gaze even when he was stoned as hell, hesitantly replied. “I mean, I just arrived, but it’s going fine?” 

“Aight. Well, all of you can drink whatever the fuck you want and shit. I gotta go and entertain the Phi Mu girls that just arrived,” Hidan grinned, before saluting and wandering over to a gaggle of girls next to the food table.

Soon, Sasori and Kakuzu excused themselves as the three childhood best-friends ribbed each other playfully, making fun of Naruto getting knocked flat on his back when he got rushed in the second quarter. The rest of the squad rolled up as well, Ino arriving with Hinata and clad in a cute green top and white shorts combo. Tenten greeted them with her boyfriend, Neji, and looked adorable while Lee followed behind them. Kiba, a hell of a lot more drunk than when Sakura first saw him, clapped Naruto raucously on the back with an absolutely stoned Shino behind him. Choji— and much to the gang’s surprise, Shikamaru— wandered over to them.

“Shikamaru?” Sakura laughed, grabbing her Shogi and studying partner in a quick hug. “What are you doing here? I thought you thought parties were too troublesome.”

Shikamaru hugged her back, taking a pull of his vape. He shot a long-suffering look at his childhood friend, Ino, who was flirting with a handsome junior.

“That woman nagged at me to be here,” he sighed. “Said she wanted me n’ Choji to look after her since she planned to get black-out drunk tonight.”

“You’re such a good friend,” Sakura chuckled. “If I asked Sasuke to do that, he’d just leave me to sleep behind a bush or something.”

“I would not,” Sasuke said, looking insulted. “Do you know what my mother would do if I pulled that shit?  _ Murder _ me.”

Sakura leveled her gaze at Sasuke, completely missing the soft look Shikamaru gave her. “Are we just going to ignore you left Naruto stuffed in a trash can after that Theta Chi party freshman year?”

“...he survived.”

“Mother would find out.” a deep voice said behind them.

Itachi, who was holding a fancy gold bottle in his hand, stood behind them in khaki shorts and a polo. He offered a smirk at the underclassman, crossing his arms.

“Because you’d snitch on me, you rat bastard,” Sasuke shot back, narrowing his eyes at his older brother.

Itachi’s smirk merely widened. “Anyways, I’m not here to rat you out— today, anyways. Naruto!” The blond boy, who was talking to a shy Hinata, whipped his head around to his upperclassman.

“Anti— I mean, Itachi, what’s up?” Naruto asked sheepishly.

“The Keg stand’s set up.”

The group quickly congregated on the deck, where the grey Beer keg Hidan had carted out earlier, sat with some tubes.

“Oh shit, let’s go!” Naruto rubbed his hands together excitedly.

Other people soon gathered around the spot at the sight of a keg stand and as soon as the crowd got to a decent size, Hidan stepped out.

“Alright bitches, listen up!” Hidan caught the attention of the crowd. Pein stepped around him and addressed everyone.

“We’re here today to celebrate the absolute beating Konoha U gave Templeton College tonight,” the orange-haired Senior said with a slight grin, and the crowd roared in response. Soon a loud cheer rose from the crowd, shouting “KU! KU!” and many raised their cups.

“It wouldn't be possible without our AKE brother and MVP, Naruto.”

The crowd whooped as Naruto emerged from the crowd, who walked with his palms outstretched like a jesus-reincarnate and a smug expression on his face.

Sakura watched everything with a grin on her face, glad her best friend was getting the attention he deserved.

“Looking good, Sakura,” a masculine voice whispered into her ear.

The pink-haired girl nearly jumped out her skin until she saw cerulean eyes and long blond hair next to her.

“Shit, Deidara! Give a girl some warning next time!” She scolded, rubbing her chest.

“Sorry,” he grinned, looking everything but sorry. He looked good today, half of his hair put up in a top knot and wearing a  _ very _ flattering white t-shirt. “I couldn’t see you early cuz’ I was setting up something.”

“Yeah?” Sakura asked, looking at Sasuke getting reluctantly dragged in with Kiba to hold Naruto legs’ up while he did the stand. “What was it?”

“A surprise, yeah.” The blond senior tugged Sakura into his chest. “It’s a secret,” he whispered, his breath raising goose-bumps along her skin.

“O-oh, cool,” Sakura stuttered, wrapping her arms around her midsection.

He chuckled softly, puffs of air blowing gently against her nape. “Don’t worry, babe, you’ll see it later. Just something to ring in the new school year.”

“Go!”

Sakura swore and pulled out her phone, hitting ‘record’ on her camera. Naruto gulped down the beer furiously as his face turned red from being upside down, the crowd chanting “Chug! Chug! Chug!” at the spectacle.

Hidan, who was crouched next to him to make sure Naruto didn’t choke or anything and was timing him, looked intently at his phone.

Sakura muffled her laughter at Sasuke looking boredly into the sky, uncaring Naruto was drinking his weight in alcohol next to him.

“And time!” Hidan shouted.

Kiba and Sasuke roughly let Naruto down, the blond-haired sophomore gasping and wiping his mouth of excess beer.

So disoriented from the sudden rush of blood and alcohol to his head, Naruto couldn’t see the pie coming his way.

Pein and Itachi, each with a hand on Sakura’s homemade pie with an abundance of whipped cream on top, smashed the pie into Naruto’s unsuspecting face and crowd roared even louder.

“Congrats, Naruto,” Pein smiled deviously as Naruto spat out whipped cream.

Sakura, who had captured the priceless look on Naruto’s face before he got pie’d on video, broke down in laughter and collapsed in Deidara’s arms.

“Did you see,” she laughed, “the look on his face?!” She wiped away the tears from her eyes.

Deidara, who leaned on Sakura, couldn’t respond as he gasped in laughter. He took his chance to muffle his cackle into her soft pink hair, breathing in her scent.

“Holy shit!” Naruto shouted, unsuccessfully trying to wipe whipped cream out of his eyes. “Not cool, man! Not cool!”

The blond MVP stumbled around blindly, trying to look for a towel, but his toe caught on a loose nail in the deck.

“Shit!” was all the warning Sasuke had before Naruto face-planted into his chest, getting whipped cream all over his t-shirt.

Sasuke’s high-pitched shriek echoed around the yard and he pushed away his best friend as the students laughed at the notorious pair.

Sakura, who had recovered from earlier, dissolved into another fit of laughter as she heard Sasuke’s voice break.

“Sasuke?!” Naruto asked confusedly, now kneeling on the deck.

“Naruto, you fucking idiot!” Sasuke tried to recover, trying to get the cream off his shirt.

“Oh my god,” Sakura gasped. “I love those idiots.”

Someone (thankfully) got Naruto a wet towel and he wiped the cream off his face. He glared at Pein and Itachi, who were near the railing and observing the scene amusedly. Sasuke, who’s t-shirt was absolutely ruined and probably had to be dry-cleaned, decided to cut his losses and took off his shirt with his back turned to everyone.

While most had already dispersed, a few students remained near the deck. “Fuck yeah!” Ino’s voice jeered and several students turned to look as several wolf whistles accompanied her.

Sasuke, looking behind him, uncharacteristically blushed and discarded his t-shirt. He crossed his arms over his well-built chest in a misguided attempt at modesty, and Sakura could see several girls take a snap of his chest.

“Hey fuckers!” Kisame’s voice rang over the crowd. “Take cover!”

“Surprise, Sak,” Deidara breathed again in Sakura’s ear, his voice and proximity doing funny things to her insides.

And then the fireworks started.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a filler chapter? Idk, I just love writing about American college life. 
> 
> Right now, I’m just trying to give everyone a feel for the Akatsuki. Sakura will connect individually with the boys later and you’ll see a different side of the boys— so then they won’t just be 2 dimensional characters who are pigeon-holed into stereotypes.
> 
> Anyway, please give me a Kudo and a comment! Ya girl gets a hit of dopamine.


	7. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura makes pancakes and gets to know more about the Alumni Board.

Late Saturday morning light filtered through the window and Sakura gave a rude snort as she awoke.

She rubbed her eyes and squinted at her surroundings. Messy clothes and ramen clothes dotted one side of the room, while the other was immaculate and neat.

Ah. Definitely Sasuke and Naruto’s dorm room.

The pink-haired girl sat up, swearing softly as she almost bumped into the ceiling. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she peered down from the bunkbed to see Naruto sprawled on the carpet, still in last night’s clothes. A pillow was tucked pathetically under his arm. A flash came to Sakura and she remembered how blackout drunk Naruto was last night, and how he probably would’ve hurt himself trying to climb back up into his bed. Looking a few feet above him, she saw Sasuke tucked neatly on his bunk, back facing her and the room.

Crossing her fingers, she hoped Kiba and Shino weren’t awake and silently snuck into the four boys’ shared bathroom. She pulled out her stowed bag from under the sink and washed her face, brushed her teeth, and pulled on one of Sasuke’s t-shirts she had stolen. Making her way out of the bathroom, she nudged Naruto’s sleeping form with her foot and gave a hard shove at Sasuke’s back.

Naruto snored and blearily opened his eyes to see his best friends standing above him. “Sakurahhh,” Naruto griped, holding his head in his hands. “My head hurts.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Mine would too, if I gave my liver a beating within an inch of its life.”

“The fuck, Sak?” Sasuke leaned over the edge of his bunk, black hair pasted to his pale face and disgruntled.

“Make it stop,” Naruto moaned, curling into himself.

“If you want my breakfast pancakes and coffee, get your asses down to the kitchen.”

Both perked up to the sound of food, but Naruto quickly regretted the action and rubbed at his temple. Sasuke wearily stepped down from the bunk, pulling a hoodie over his bare chest and yawned.

Sasuke blearily looked down and kicked at Naruto’s side. “Get up, idiot.” Naruto whimpered as Sasuke entered the bathroom.

Scrolling through her Instagram feed, Sakura saw many pictures from yesterday’s game. She saw Ino’s pre-game pic with her and it had already reached a thousand likes, even though it was posted at 9 last night.

_ “I look hot as FUCK”  _ Sakura commented, pressing enter _. “U look ok ig” _

Sasuke closed the door of the bathroom behind him and Sakura looked up from her phone. “Ready?”

He hummed positively and reached to get his keys. For one last good measure, Sakura nudged Naruto again. 

“Naruto, it’s eleven. I’m making breakfast. Get up.”

He groaned and sat up slowly. Naruto took a sniff at his t-shirt before scrunching his nose in disgust, before pulling his t-shirt off.

The three of them trooped through the silent house and got downstairs to the empty kitchen. Naruto and Sasuke took seats at the counter and the blond promptly buried his head in his arms.

“You would’ve been fine with the kegstand and some of the vodka, but  _ noooo _ , you had to take those 5 shots of Tequila,” Sakura scowled, pulling out the ingredients from the cabinet shelves.

A whine came from his direction. For a while no one spoke as Sakura got to cooking breakfast, slicing up fruit and heating up the water kettle.

“Sakura?”

Choji, who had immediately come down at the smell of food, stopped at the kitchen doorway to peer curiously at his high school classmate. 

“Hey Choji,” Sakura greeted. “I’m making breakfast for the boys. Want some?”

“Yes please,” he said gratefully, taking a seat next to Naruto. “Your pancakes are a godsend.”

“Can I have some too, Sak?” Kiba asked, his morning voice rough. He trooped through the kitchen to press a kiss to Sakura’s head, dodging the half-hearted swipe she directed at them.

“You might as well make some for the rest of us at this point,” Shikamaru yawned as he entered the kitchen. “The seniors are going to throw a hissy fit if they found out you cooked breakfast for us and not them.”

“Let them starve,” Sakura snorted callously, flipping over her pancake. 

“Shit, Sak, I’m hurt!” Deidara held his chest exaggeratedly as he entered the kitchen. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in years!”

“Sign the NDA right now and I’ll consider leaving you leftovers,” she said sharply in response, putting a pancake onto a plate.

“You’d really leave us to starve?” Itachi asked, swiping at Sasuke’s head. Sasuke, unfortunately, did not dodge quickly enough. “Fuck you too,” Sasuke hissed.

Sakura looked at the elder Uchiha brother from the corner of her eye. “I know you have the NDA contract stashed somewhere on your laptop. Print it out and sign it right now, in my view.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Sakura,” Kisame chuckled, settling at the breakfast table. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to consider a career in law?”

“Nope, “ Sakura said succinctly, passing out pancakes and syrup to her fellow sophomores. “I’d have to deal with men like Pein and Itachi. Fuck that.”

Itachi looked enviously at the pancakes Sasuke was eating smugly, which were heaping in syrup and cream as well as topped with fresh sliced fruit. Deidara and Kisame gave their underclassmen the stink eye.

“Hn.” Itachi left the room and Sakura took that as an agreement (she was fluent in the Uchiha one-syllable grunts).

Soon, more members of the frat filed in —some which she knew well and some she didn’t know much— and Sakura had made well over 50 pancakes.

“Here.” 

Sakura looked up to see Pein holding up their signed NDA, Itachi walking behind him.

“And it only took you a week and the threat of food,” she commented lightly. Leaving the batter to simmer in the pan, she scanned over the NDA and surprisingly found nothing amiss. No fine print, no weirdly-worded clauses— nothing. Flipping over the pancake, she turned back to the paper and signed it with a flourish.

“So… pancakes?” Deidara said hopefully, ears perked up like a puppy.

“Yes, Deidara,” she sighed. Soon, all members of the Alpha Kappa were chewing happily on their pancakes Sakura made with hate, er,  _ love. _

* * *

_ Big-dick bros group chat _

_ Pein: Kakashi has asked me to pass on a message about Deidara’s recent.... Pyrotechnic activity at the party a few nights ago _

_ Pein: [sent a picture] _

_ **Pein,** _

**_What the fuck guys_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Hatake Kakashi, Professor_ **

**_Dept. of History, Konoha University_ **

**_Tel: +1 XXX-XXX-XXXX_ **

_ Kakuzu: i think admin sent an email to kakashi about it _

_ Deidara: ye but what are they gonna do about it _

_ Deidara: itachi and sasuke’s parents donated a fucking building to them and sasori’s money single-handedly fixed the Tatsumi quad _

_ Deidara: they can’t do shit _

_ Sasori: typical, Deidara uses us to get away with whatever shit he’s into _

_ Sasori: but valid, they couldn’t touch me if they tried _

_ Deidara: fuck off sassy, who would wanna touch u anyways _

_ Kisame: okay i’m not afraid of the faculty or whatever but you know what i’m actually scared of? _

_ Hidan: running out of protein powder? _

_ Itachi: Hidan, you’re projecting _

_ Kisame: no hidan u dipshit _

_ Kisame: fucking Madara and the Alumni board _

_ Tobi: oh no Madara-sama :((((( _

_ Kakuzu: shit _

_ Kakazu: they might take away funding _

_ Hidan: oh shit does this mean they’ll cut down our party budget _

_ Sasori: we were gonna get a pool this year this is all ur fault Deidara _

_ Deidara: THE ALUMNI BOARD HASNT EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABT CUTTING THE BUDGET _

_ Deidara: AND ALL OF U TACITLY AGREED TO IT _

_ Itachi: i didn’t know u knew how to use that word, good job _

_ Pein: Check your emails, cretins, Madara has spoken _

Sakura dug out her phone from her backpack after class and saw the group chat blowing up, once again. She desperately wanted to silence notifications from them but knew all of them would get offended and she did  _ not  _ have the energy to deal with that.

Dutifully, she opened her email app and saw the aforementioned email from Madara. Sure enough, the Alumni board had heard about the surprise pyrotechnics show and decided to hold an emergency meeting this afternoon. At this point, Sakura wasn’t even surprised. She heard about all the crazy shit the Akatsuki fraternity pulled off and got away with it, from (somehow) painting a whole building purple to hacking the university bell system. Deidara’s fireworks didn’t even make the top 10, to be honest.

However, just as she was about to hit ‘play’ on her Spotify playlist, an incoming call flashed across her screen.

“Naruto, glad to see you haven’t died of alcohol poisoning yet,” Sakura greeted dryly,

“Sakura,” Naruto whined. “Why are you so mean to me?” he continued, dragging out the last word.

“Dawg, I’ve known you since forever and I like being mean to you. Simple.”

Naruto heaved in a breath, apparent he was about to respond, except a deep, muffled voice scolded him in the backwards.

“Plus,” Sakura chimed, “it’s actually super unhealthy for you. You better start limiting yourself before I actually start monitoring you and cramping your style.”

“What are you, my mom?”

“Yes. You want me to actually get Kushina in on this? Because I’ll do it.”

“...Yes ma’am.”

Sakura heard a light commotion over the speaker and Naruto’s squawk of outrage before it went silent.

“Sakura,” Sasuke said, “we’re in Kakashi’s classroom.”

“And…?” Sakura trailed off.

A few moments of silence ensued. “...Naruto wants you here.”

Sakura sent a quick prayer for Sasuke’s social ineptness. Bless the girl that would put up with him in the future.

“You’re acting like you don’t want her here too, bastard!” Naruto said, somewhere in the background.

“Come.” And with that ominous send-off, the line went dead.

_ What am I, a dog? _ Sakura screeched internally. Nevertheless, she took off in the direction of Kakashi Hatake’s classroom.

* * *

“Alright, why are we in Kakashi’s classroom?” Sakura asked as she sat next to Sasuke.

“‘Cuz he doesn’t give a fuck,” Naruto said bluntly.

“I’m offended, Naruto. Of course I care about my darling students,” Kakashi cut in, striding out of his office with a horrible posture.

Sasuke snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

Suddenly, Kakashi turned to Sakura with an alacrity that did not match his posture. “And you, missy. Attend the meeting this afternoon or Madara will throw a hissy fit and deny the frat funding.”

Sakura frowned. “He is a grown ass man. He should not be having hissy fits!”

“There’s a meeting going on this afternoon?” Naruto asked confusedly. “Aw shit, does this mean I can’t watch the game this afternoon?”

The black-haired Uchiha sighed. “Apparently, Madara called an emergency meeting with leadership and the Alumni board because of Deidara’s pyrotechnic kink.”

“Wait, so I know Madara and Shisui are on the board, who else is? I’d like to know of any other possible dangers people,” Sakura said.

“Okay,” Sasuke sat up, “So you’ve got Madara, the chairman and; Hashirama, vice chair, Jiraiya— you know Jiraiya, right? Naruto’s godfather—, Tobirama, Cousin Izuna, Asuma, and some honorary ones I don’t care about,” he counted on his fingers.

“Huh,” Sakura said. “No wonder all of you are insufferable. You’ve got the Attorney General, a Senator, the Governor, and a whole bunch of powerful people. Disgusting. Eat the rich.”

“I don’t think that’s what Madara had in mind…” Naruto murmured.

He soon screeched as Sakura punched him in the shoulder. “Get your head out of the gutter, idiot!”

“You punch like a man, Sakura,” Kakashi observed.

“But it hurts like a bitch,” Naruto hissed.

Sakura sniffed. “I punch like a woman, thank you very much.”

“That might come in handy, though,” Sasuke contemplated. “There’s a real likelihood that Madara will attend physically since he’s in town.”

“Oh no,” Sakura moaned, remembering all the times he picked on her at the Uchiha compound. “I am so fucked, guys,”

“I think that’s closer to what Madara had in mind,” Naruto snickered beneath his hand.

Sakura didn’t even have the energy to swing but the blond idiot ducked anyway.

“I don’t think Hashirama or Tobirama will attend, however,” Sasuke said offhandedly, checking his phone.

Naruto snapped his fingers. “That’s right, Congress is in session today.”

Sakura and Sasuke stared at him, incredulous.

“What? My dad is a Senator, of course I’d know when he’d be out of the house.”

“Naruto, why didn’t you have this kind of energy in my class,” Kakashi pouted, edging on a whine. 

“Because you weren’t here half of the time,” Sasuke retorted. Sakura held out her hand for a high-five and he returned it with a smirk.

“Some of my most precious students, all verbally abusing this poor old man.”

Sometimes, Sakura wondered why so many girls crushed so hard on Kakashi.

“Anyways, you’ll be fine, Sak. I don’t think anyone will do anything that bad. Jiraiya won’t even be there!”

“...What a vote of confidence.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry it's been so long. Hope you enjoyed this little chapter :))))
> 
> Next chapter: The Alumni Board Meeting and some other shit I haven't figured out yet, but I promise it's juicy!


	8. Deidara's Pyro Kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara holds an emergency meeting while Hidan throws a fit over OnlyFans. In other news, Itachi driving an expensive car and bracing himself to back out is really fucking hot.

As she looked up at the Alpha Kappa frat house, she felt like a five year old entering the Uchiha compound all over again.

Sakura remembered, in the early days of her, Naruto, and Sasuke’s relationship, how reluctant Sasuke was to take them to his family’s compound. She knew of the huge, hulking mass of fenced-in structures down the street from her and she had no desire to enter the forbidding place either. When pushed by either her or Naruto (whose house they usually hung out at then), Sasuke mumbled his family was “weird” and “not really good with people who weren’t Uchihas”. She and Naruto both shrugged and gave it up.

Until one day, when Sasuke’s mother picked up Sasuke early instead of him walking home, Mikoto invited both her and Naruto to come play with Sasuke at the compound.

Entering the walled-gates felt like entering one of her mother’s old storybooks, with feudal _hime_ ’s and _samurai_. Traditional Japanese buildings surrounded by lush greenery stretched farther than the eye could see, along with an eclectic mix of traditional attire and fancy Western wear. She instantly felt out of place with her pink hair and bright, fluffy dress. Black-haired Uchihas with high cheekbones and straight-bridged noses glanced at her as she walked through the compound, but they usually went back to what they were doing previously.

However, because the compound was so large, Sakura quickly got lost and was almost in tears before a tall, older teen with a mane of messy black spikes took her hand and guided her towards the main house...

Shaking her head, she walked past a new addition to the obscenely expensive cars parked in the driveway and came to the entranceway. She unlocked the door with her newly-given key and stepped inside.

Immediately, she heard the noise of absolute chaos the Alpha Kappa frat usually found itself in. She also smelled the delicious scent of take out wafting somewhere from the kitchen and silently thanked the higher beings. At least they were giving her free food for the headache they caused her.

“— okay, first off, _fuck you_ , I did not steal your disgusting smoothie, Hidan—”

“Then who fucking did, dipshit? God?!”

A haughty snort. “I would never touch your vile drinks.”

“I did because it was _stinking_ up the goddamn _fridge_.”

Entering the formal dining room, she saw Deidara, Hidan, Pein and Kakuzu huddled near the doorway arguing and sighed.

“Move, fuckers!” Sakura said, attempting to use her strength to push the men out of the way. Unfortunately, none of them moved a muscle.

“Sakura! How’s it going?” Hidan boisterously greeted her, ungodly white teeth flashing in the hallway light. She wrinkled her nose as he swung a muscled arm around her.

“Hidan.” Someone above her warned. She felt a cool hand rest on her shoulder and her gaze being caught by Pein’s. “How are you, Sakura?”

“Good as I can be, I guess,” Sakura sighed, shaking off Hidan’s arm. “Are these emergency meetings going to be, like, a frequent thing?”

“No, they’re pretty rare. They’re only called when one of our members does stupid shit and we have to respond quickly,” Kakuzu said, while glaring at Deidara.

“You all agreed to it, Christ!” Deidara whined.

Feeling a smile tilt up at the corners of her mouth, Sakura left the group to bicker and soon reached her designated seat. She strategically chose it since it was the closest to the two exits if she needed to vacate the room quickly.

As the clock ticked closer to 6 pm, more members of Alpha Kappa’s Executive Board streamed into the room. Most of them ruffled her hair or squeezed her shoulder before settling down in their spots, but a deep voice caught her attention.

"Is that Haruno Sakura I see?!”

She cautiously peeked her head above the back of her chair and wanted to hide.

Madara Uchiha, State Attorney General, Sasuke and Itachi’s older cousin, and the first Uchiha she ever met outside of Sasuke’s family stood in the doorway clad in a dark pin-striped suit with gloves on and a shit-eating grin on his handsome face.

“Madara,” Sakura said flatly.

“Awww, it’s like the old days! When I used to see you and little Sasuke and Naruto cooped up at the Main House,” Madara cooed and bent over her chair to pinch her cheeks with gloved hands.

Madara never really did anything overtly sexual but he was extremely touchy. After high school, it confused her when Madara still treated her like a fragile porcelain doll yet also gave her dark, heavy stares when he thought no one was watching. His favorite move was to pinch her cheeks red, like an adorable little child, or sweep her off her feet in a princess carry. Madara Uchiha wasn’t a pervert like Jiraiya— no, he was too mature for that— but he definitely wanted _something_ from her.

“That hurts,” Sakura cried, trying to pull his hands off her cheeks. “I’m not five! Quit it!”

“Of course you aren’t,” he murmured, before grasping her jaw and running a thumb underneath her eyelid. “Why would I think that?”

“Cousin, please get your hands off her before I am forced to remove them myself,” a voice flatly stated. Sakura tilted her head to see a deeply frowning Itachi in rumpled professional ware, crossing his arms at the right-hand of Pein.

“Like you could,” Madara scoffed, releasing Sakura’s throbbing cheek and going to his place at the opposite head of the table. “I could thrash you in my sleep.”

Before Itachi could retort, Pein cleared his throat. “Let’s please get this meeting started, gentleman, so we can eat earlier.”

A round of ‘hell-yeah’’s came around the table before settling down.

“Anyway, since this is an emergency meeting, roll call isn’t necessary but we must do so for transparency reasons. Please answer ‘present’ when your name is called.”

And so down the list they went until Sasori got to the end.

“Haruno Sakura, sweetheart of Alpha Kappa, light of lives and dove of our hearts?”

“Once again, I object to the unnecessary and, might I remind you, _unwelcome_ epitaphs to my name!” Sakura protested.

“Overruled.” The entire room said simultaneously, as if one entity. Even Madara joined.

“Sheesh!” Sakura threw her hands up. She resumed pouting in her chair.

“I defer to you, Madara,” Pein stated, before leaning back.

“Alright, gentlemen, may I ask why in the _seven hells_ I received a silly little email from the provost about illegal fireworks after the Homecoming game?” Madara asked calmly, steepling his fingers and looking entirely too menacing.

“Because she has a stick up her ass,” Hidan injected snidely, and the whole room snickered. Apparently, Konoha U’s Provost wasn’t very popular at the Alpha Kappa Frat house. Unsurprising, knowing how much shit they caused every year.

“Regardless of whether or not she might be painfully _anal_ ,” snickering rose a bit, “—keep it out of my damn inbox!”

Madara started to remove his gloves slowly and meticulously. “Look, gentlemen, I frankly don’t give a flying fuck what all of you get up to because God knows how much shit I caused a decade ago but once again: Don’t. Get. Caught!” He emphasized each last word with a tap to the table.

“Why would we when we can just buy our way out of it?” Sasori drawled, lazily slumped in his chair like a debauched prince. “Between the 10 of us, we could buy a small country. What can they do, really? Kick us out?”

“They won’t do anything of the sort, no, but Kakashi’s required to notify me about anything particularly troublesome you men do. I really don’t have time to deal with all that shit nowadays and I’d like to keep my job, thank you very much. So just don’t get fucking caught!”

“Unfortunately, Deidara’s little pyro fetish is not so easily hidden, Cousin Madara,” Itachi sighed, before steepling his fingers eerily similar to him.

“Boo, you no-fun whore. It’s not a fetish!” Deidara defended, eyes narrowed at Itachi.

At the disbelieving eyes of the rest of the table, Deidara looked at the ceiling in askance. “Why am I constantly under attack in this frat?”

“Besides Deidara’s bizarre kink—” the board guffawed while Deidara squawked, “— I thought it’d be a good time to mention fundraising,” Madara said.

“Oh shit, are we finally getting a Frat OnlyFans account?” Hidan asked excitedly, hands grasping the edge of the table.

Madara pinched his nose. “No, Hidan, prostitution is against our bylaws,” sounding like they’d had this conversation frequently.

“Section 5, Prohibited Activities, Article 3A!” Tobi helpfully added.

While Sakura contemplated _why_ there would be such a specific ban against prostitution in the Frat bylaws, Hidan started to make his case.

“Look, I know all the InstaBaddies use OnlyFans to sell _those_ kinda pics, but the app isn’t just about that! People post shit like— like study tips and secret recipes! Safe shit like that!”

“You’re telling me you want to post _only_ cooking recipes on OnlyFans?” Pein asked archly.

“And _that_ would be a viable income source?” Madara chimed in.

Hidan opened his mouth to speak, eyebrows furrowed, but quickly closed his mouth. He started to lift himself out of his seat. “I still fuckin’ say—”

“ _A_ _nyways,_ ” Madara stressed, cutting Hidan with his slightly red-tinted glare, “that’s enough for now. I was thinking of our annual back-to-school gala. You know how much your mothers like that and is usually our main source of income for the year. We need to decide on a date and I’ll just hire someone to make it happen,” he finished carelessly. 

Everyone’s eyes turned to Sakura, who smirked. Maybe litigation wasn’t such a bad path to go to after all…

“Why are we all staring at Sakura, men?” Madara asked curiously, eyes hidden behind long lashes darting back and forth at this interesting dynamic.

“In exchange for my current position, they _graciously_ allowed me to schedule any required events,” Sakura said, voice bubbling with victory.

“Is this in writing?”

Sakura looked offended. “Of course I did. Who do you think I am? I got them to sign an NDA.”

He chuckled, a deep, chocolatey sound that echoed in the back of her chest. “Ah, yes. The gag-order on Naruto and Sasuke’s slight mishap.”

Madara appraised her, eyes aglow. “Clever little thing,” he complimented, voice deepening at the end and his eyes doing that weird little smouldering thing that he thought Sakura never noticed.

Sakura this time cleared her throat, cheeks flushing a little red. “Anyway, let’s do Saturday the last week of September— 5 weeks from now. It’s not like we’ll be handling all the minutiae. Is that agreeable?”

Murmurs of consent echoed around that table, Sasori typing furiously into his garishly gold, gleaming laptop. The damn thing looked like a light source on its own.

Madara checked his phone, humming to himself. “That’s fine, I’m in town that week. Let’s do 7 at the Shangri-La, yes? I’ll call up Aunt Mikoto’s friend to handle all of this.”

The table started to get into deep discussion of how to improve from last year (“It was hideously boring— rather like my uncle’s coronation,” Sasori yawned.) and what else they wanted to see at the gala. Tobi advocated viciously for ice sculptures shaped like cartoon characters and while that was shot down, they did agree to ice sculptures shaped like mythical beasts. They went through several color combinations (“If you pull out that gaudy red and yellow color scheme I’ll blind myself!” Deidara snarled.) before settling on a nice navy, olive green and white scheme.

“And finally,” Pein said, “That leaves the invites and guests. We will send them out at the end of the week.”

“Can I have access to the Alumni lists, Madara?” Itachi asked.

“I’ll text my assistant.”

“Sakura, I hate to ask you this, but could you record a voicemail for our alumni?” Pein asked, typing furiously on his laptop.

“...why?” Sakura asked suspiciously, coming back from the kitchen with a take-out box full of fried noodles in her arms. (She was hungry, okay?)

For the first time in her life (even when he was an awkward teenager with gangly limbs and uneven skin), he looked discomfited. Satan shifted in his chair and fiddled—fiddled!— with his fingers.

“Our male alumni, hm, how should I put this—”

“—are more receptive to a charming female voice than some boring frat boy,” Kakauzu finished gracelessly.

Sakura gaped.

“Are you trying to pimp me out?!”

Pein cringed at the blunt phrasing of his strategy.

“It’s… a strategic use of resources?” Itachi offered up, before cringing beneath her glare.

“That’s illegal!” Sakura said in outrage, stomping her foot and almost shaking the food loose from her styrofoam container.

“No, Sakura, think about it as using your darling voice to attract our alumni. Like, a voice actress!” Kisame snapped his fingers to emphasize his analogy.

“So quasi-pimping.” Sakura said flatly.

Kisame pouted. “See, now it sounds bad when you put it that way.”

* * *

“It’s been fun and all, and I’m glad we were productive, but can someone drive me home?” Sakura asked, patting her stomach full of delicious Chinese take-out.

Immediately a host of voices volunteered, clamoring to take her home.

“I’m the one who doesn’t live here, I’ll take her!” Madara announced, brandishing his keys.

“You live the opposite direction of Sakura’s dorm, Cousin,” Itachi pronounced monotonously, expecting his nails. 

“I can—”

“Hidan, you’re still banned on University Avenue after that drag-race Junior Year,” Itachi shot him down. Hidan huffed but sat down. “I’ll take her. My car is back from the shop and I am not banned from anywhere, unlike you cretins.”

With that, he scooped up her bag, grabbed her arm, and unceremoniously dragged her out the door with a gaggle of protesting men trailing behind him.

* * *

Sakura stared curiously at the interior of Itachi’s black _Jaguar,_ petting the butter-soft leather.

“I like your car, Itachi,” Sakura pronounced and then poked at the touch screen control pad.

“Thank you, Sakura,” he smirked, before revving the car up.

“Not you, of course—the car,” she said mindlessly, swiping through the car’s settings.

Itachi put a hand behind her seat to brace himself, looked over his shoulder, before speeding out of the garage. She caught a whiff of his cologne—musky, with hints of spice like rum— that lingered near her even when he was long gone. Sasuke preferred obnoxiously expensive cologne gave her a headache while Naruto smelled like freshly laundered clothing so she wasn't accustomed to this mature, understated scent. 

“I’m hurt you think so low of me,” he teased, shifting gears and Sakura _hated_ she could see his lithe muscles highlighted in the dim streetlights.

“Sadly, your only redeeming factor is that you’re Sasuke-chan’s brother,” Sakura shot back wobbly, trying to get his sheer attractiveness out of her mind. She clenched her bag tighter. She’s known him forever! He’s evil! He’s Anti-Christ!

...But he did look fine as _fuck_ steering with one hand, eyes focused on the road.

He smirked at her out of the corner of his eye, as if sensing her thoughts, and she scowled. 

Suddenly, her phone screen lit up. Sakura took a glance at the calendar notification and groaned dramatically.

“Is everything alright, Sakura?”

“Argh, no,” she complained. “OChem is going to kill me!”

“One or two?” he inquired, looking over his shoulder to merge.

“One,” she said miserably.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you liked chemistry?

Her bottom lip jutted out minutely, and Itachi thought the invitation to kiss her senseless was entirely too tempting.

“Yeah, before there started to be mirrors and legal constraints on rotating a fucking molecule. I can name all the ligaments in the upper body _and_ their functions but OChem? Now that’s a different beast.”

She looked at her phone again. “God, I have a test a week from now and some of the concepts are still a bit fuzzy,” she frowned. “Eh, I’ll figure it out.”

“I could tutor you, you know.”

Her brow furrowed. “I thought you were in pre-law.”

He chuckled, causing a funny sensation to brush across her skin. “Yes, but I’m majoring in psych, remember? We have some of the main requirements.”

“Oh yeah, Sasuke did mention that.” She turned to him, eyes wide. “Did you really take it to fuck with people’s minds?”

Another chuckle. “Something like that, sweetheart.”

_I’m gonna melt in this fucking seat._

“Well, um, if you’re not opposed, I-I’d really like that,” she stuttered uncharacteristically. Sakura inwardly slapped herself. She sounded like some bimbo! Sakura straightened in her seat. “Yes, I’d really appreciate it if you have the time.”

“For you? Of course?” His hand took the stick to change gears again, landing entirely close to her folded knees which were turned towards him.

Sakura was very lucky it was dark in the car because she turned bright red.

 _Is Sasuke’s older brother flirting with me...?_ She wondered breathlessly and guiltily.

She shook that train of thought away. _No, he’s probably teasing me like usual_.

* * *

A text from Ino flashed across her screen. _Shit sakura was that a Jaguar i saw?_

Sakura’s fingers flew across the keypad. _How tf do u know??? that’s creepy af_

_I live across the street dummy._

Sakura rolled her eyes.

Her phone buzzed again. _please tell me you made out in that fine ass car with Sasuke’s older bro. The Best friend’s brother trope is kinda hot ngl_

Her doormates shushed her as Sakura squawked.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter in, from stage left, Madara Uchiha! The frequently mentioned State Attorney General and Sasuke/Itachi’s older cousin. (He’s like 30 so it’s not weird guys I promise).
> 
> About Madara’s characterization: I bet some of y’all are surprised he’s not a super perv like Jiraiya, right? I read that trope over and over again in MultiSaku fics but I’m getting tired of it. It’s not entirely wrong, but it’s not entirely right. Instead, I want to frame him as this slightly older man that is finding himself seriously crushing on the woman Sakura turned into. However, he can’t express his feelings properly so he treats her as an adorable preteen in front of her but casts longing, heated glances when he thinks she’s not looking. It’s kind of pathetic, but absolutely adorable.
> 
> Also, if none of you haven’t thought about Itachi driving a manual car, you’re not a true Itachi stan. Bye. (Itachi’s appeal is hot best friend’s brother. Fight me!!!)
> 
> ————————-
> 
> Notes:
> 
> \- OnlyFans is a subscription-based service in which fans subscribe (with money) to a creator in order to gain access to exclusive content. It's mainly known for pornography and some of the highest earners earn like 1m a year.
> 
> \- Okay, so the function of the Alumni Advisory Board is to guide the executive board (since executive leadership changes every year) and handle all the serious stuff. Madara is the chair and he’s doing a surprisingly good job, tbh. 
> 
> \- The thing about mirrors in Organic Chem is Stereochemistry, a unit in OChem I. You gotta rotate molecules on a mirror plane and there are “legal” rules to it. Like, fuck that, I’m majoring in Public Policy. I know the timeline, coursework-wise, is fucked up but sue me. And if there’s any actual budding doctors taking OChem, I have no idea what I’m doing I just looked at the MIT OpenCourseware.


	9. Freak Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ino, Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura all freak out for different reasons. In other news, Sakura unwillingly attracts a cult following of sorority sisters.

“You’re telling me you were in _Itachi freaking Uchiha’s car_ and you didn’t immediately go down on him?!”

Sakura facepalmed as Ino nagged behind her at the group’s usual lunch table.

“Wait, woah, Itachi Uchiha? Sasuke’s older bro?” Tenten asked, her eyebrow arched in Sakura’s direction.

“Is there another Itachi Uchiha on campus?” Sakura said sardonically, scooping a mouth full of Mac and Cheese in her mouth. At least her obscenely expensive lunch pass was worth it.

“Itachi Uchiha!” Ino repeated, in disbelief. “That is one _fine_ man. President of Mock Trial, Senator in Student Government, and started a fucking non-profit in high school. And you were in his car!”

“You make it sound like he’s a celebrity. He’s nothing but the reincarnation of Anti-Christ… even if he is nice at times.”

“Uchiha-san has always been uncommonly nice to you ever since you started college,” Hinata piped in. The Hyuuga was frequently subjected to Sakura’s incessant complaining about Sasuke’s older brother during their childhood years. There was a particularly memorable incident in middle school when Itachi filled Sakura’s backpack with oobleck and, boy, was it ugly.

“I don’t even know why?”

“‘Cuz you’re hot,” Ino wiggled her eyebrows. “Everyone in the Akatsuki didn’t see you for a straight two years until you entered college. And, not gonna lie, if I wasn’t straight I would totally date you.”

“Aww, are you telling me we _won’t_ have a hot, secret lesbian affair?” Sakura jokingly asked, sidling closer to Ino.

“Well…” Ino trailed off, causing them both to burst out in laughter.

“Also, Sakura, do you still need help in OChem? I know someone in my Calc class that was super good at it and I can hook you up,” Tenten offered.

“Oh,” Sakura blushed a bright red and put her hands demurely in her lap. “Uh, it’s all good. I got someone who’s going to help me.”

“Oh, that’s great! I know it’s been hard on you, Sakura. Who is it? Is it Shizune?” Hinata clapped gladly, remembering Tsunade’s— Sakura’s aunt— niece. Shizune was a current PhD candidate at Konoha U, so she actually would’ve been a good candidate to ask.

“Huh, maybe I should've asked her,” Sakura murmured. “Well, too late now.”

Ino, like a shark smelling blood in the water, leaned closer. “Oh? So who is it?” she queried, eyes gleaming.

“Um, just some upperclassman,” Sakura laughed uneasily, waving a hand as if to dismiss Ino.

“I know your Snap password and I’ll post your embarrassing middle school photos for the world to see.”

“Jesus Christ, Ino! It’s Itachi, okay? Uchiha Itachi.” Sakura said defensively.

Tenten and Ino both squealed while Hinata blushed, thinking of the mature Senior.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Ino giggled suggestively, slanting her eyes at Tenten.

Tenten giggled back, sharing a secret glance. “Ah, yes. “Tutoring”.”

“Tutoring will turn into Study Dates then it’ll turn into actual dates and then maybe my best friend might actually get dicked down by a hot man!’ Ino crowed triumphantly, raising her juice bottle into the air.

“I’ll be too busy going through the 5 Stages of Grief trying to mirror molecules to even think about Itachi doing anything like… that.” Cursing her face, Sakura blushed once again thinking about Itachi confidently steering his car.

Ino traced the blood rush into Sakura’s face and her eyes widened. “Oh my god, he hit on you in the car, didn’t he?” she gasped.

The brunette Junior whistled appreciatively. “Shit, Sak. Why didn’t you text anything in the groupchat?!”

“Oh my god, please stop!” Sakura, uncharacteristically flustered, buried her red face into her face.

“Spill the tea, sis!”

Sakura’s eyes glanced nervously around before leaning into the table. “He… he didn’t really do anything? He just put his hand over the back of my seat and put his hand a bit close to my knee, that’s all. It was probably just an accident! We’re overthinking this!”

“You’re hiding something,” Ino sing-songed. Damn, that girl was good at sniffing out a lie.

“A-and he called me sweetheart,” Sakura moaned pitifully, burying her face in her hands again.

The rest of the table only gaped at the pink-haired girl.

“Guys, are you all right?” Temari asked carefully, plopping herself down at the table. She looked curiously at the 3 frozen girls and one pink-haired girl attempting to bury her face into her hands. 

Ino was snapped out of her stupor and immediately took Sakura by the shoulder and shook her. “What the fuck are you doing here?! Go to that damn house and get on your knees, sis!”

“Wait, what?” 

Tenten looked over at Temari. “Itachi Uchiha called Sakura a sweetheart while offering to tutor her and driving her home.”

Temari swore. “Well fuck me. Itty bitty Sakura actually pulling guys? I feel like a proud aunt.”

“Ino!” Sakura squawked, trying to get the blond off her.

“You have these fine ass men literally handed to you on a _platter_ but you’re taking up on any of them!” Ino ranted. “Why couldn’t you have been ugly with a shitty personality?”

“Ino, be patient,” Hinata chastised firmly. “Only two years ago were they playing mean pranks on her, Sasuke, and Naruto. Forgive her if she’s a bit whiplashed.”

A huge grin split Tenten’s face as she leaned on the table with her palm. “Sakura’s got a proper Uchiha harem going now, doesn’t she?”

Sakura, recovering from the nausea Ino put her through, cringed. Throbbing cheeks from pinching and heavy, dark gazes flashed through her mind. “About that…”

* * *

“You can’t ignore me the whole time, you know.”

Ino did not turn back to even look at Sakura as they walked to Chi Omega’s sorority house.

“Why am I still friends with her?” Sakura complained to Tenten, who shrugged.

“Because I’m amazing,” Ino pronounced, still not looking behind.

“Don’t you think this is kinda over-kill though?” Tenten asked, attempting to play mediator. “It’s just Madara. And it wasn’t like… full on flirting. It was… sort of flirting?”

Finally, Ino whirled around with her blue eyes blazing. “Madara Uchiha visited the house, Sakura? And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I didn’t even know if he was gonna be there!”

“Ugh, Sakura, he’s such sugar daddy material! State Attorney General?! That man is loaded!”

“You need to get your priorities straightened, miss.”

As the group reached the Greek revival styled Chi Omega’s sorority house, Ino finally turned back to Sakura.

“Just a word of warning, you have sorority sister groupies now.”

“Huh?”

As if on cue, several girls within the house looked up to see who entered and immediately perked up at the sight of Sakura’s pink hair.

“Oh my god, are you Sakura?” One girl with gorgeous black hair asked, rushing to meet Sakura near the stairwell.

“Um, yeah?” Sakura scratched her head, leaning back and forth in her combat boots.

“Are you the new sweetheart for Alpha Kappa?!” A redhead, this time, piped up excitedly.

“...Who’s asking?”

Ino, Tenten, and Hinata stifled smiles and giggles as Sakura started to be surrounded by tanned sorority sisters in Chi Omega’s foyer. The pink-haired girl, unfortunately, was quite petite so soon she was blocked from view as the taller girls surrounded her.

“Spill the tea, sis? How did you become their sweetheart?” One girl demanded, half-joking, half serious.

“I, uh, was kinda roped into it?” There was no way she could explain the whole black mail thing.

“Teach us your secrets, enlightened one!” The black-haired girl exclaimed jokingly.

A blond gasped. “Wait, no, actually, though? Could you, like, hold a lecture or something on how to pull frat guys? You literally have all of Alpha Kappa’s numbers!”

“Girl, teach us!”

Sakura started to get slightly overwhelmed at the sight of a multitude of very pretty and very tanned girls trying to coerce her into holding a seminar on pulling frat guys.

“Alright, girls, let’s not crowd the poor girl, yeah? She’s got things to do, places to see!” Ino announced, pulling Sakura out of the crowd.

“Think about it!” the sorority sisters yelled after her.

“Oh, _yikes_. Has Haruno Sakura deigned to bless us with her presence?” a shrill voice asked snidely.

By the kitchen door was Karin Uzumaki, Naruto’s cousin who never really got along with Sakura.

“Karin. How are you?”

The red-haired menace completely ignored the nicety and moved on. “I’m sure Alpha Kappa has great taste— they’re important men, you know, movers and shakers— but I guess they do err every once in a while,” Karin sneered, looking up and down at Sakura’s mismatched combo of a sundress and combo boots.

Sakura looked at her in pity. “Why do you base all your self-worth on men? It’s really sad.”

“Women against women is a staple of normalized misogyny! Don’t feed into it!’ Tenten helpfully piped in.

“Che, whatever.”

As Sakura turned to climb the stairs to Ino and Tenten’s dorm, she turned back to Karin sulking in the corner. “By the way, Suigetsu is snapping another girl behind your back babe! You deserve better!”

Hinata gasped, a hand flying to cover her mouth.

Tenten smiled proudly. “You see? Big dick energy.”

Ino, seeing Sakura stomp proudly to her dorm out of the corner of her eyes, smirked. “She caused her chaos and left. Queen shit.”

* * *

 _Itachi Uchiha_ : _When are you free?_

Sakura frowned, slightly trailing behind Naruto and Sasuke, and unlocked her phone. What was he asking for?

_Itachi Uchiha: *for tutoring_

The pink-haired girl smacked her head.

_Sakura: I’m free tonight at 6? does that work for u?_

_Itachi: that’s fine. is the library ok?_

_Sakura: yup, sounds great._

_Itachi: see you then ;)_

The pink-haired sophomore stared at her phone in disbelief. What did that winky face mean? Was it just a “thing” or was he flirting? Ino had always told her boys that were into you always put that winky face at the end. But he couldn’t possibly be doing that?

“Sakura, are you okay?” Sasuke stopped and asked, realizing his childhood friend had gone silent.

“Nah, it’s all good.”

Naruto peaked over her head to see the screen of her phone and snatched it out of her hand. His cerulean eyes quickly read through the text messages before seeing the sender.

“She’s been tainted! Sasuke, this is a catastrophe!” Naruto moaned, collapsing on a convenient bench next to him.

Sasuke stole the phone out of Naruto’s hand while holding it out of Sakura’s reach. He read the contents as Sakura tried desperately to take back her phone, nearly climbing on his back to get to it.

“—a tragedy! A calamity! A disaster of epic proportions!—” Naruto continued.

“Sakura. What the fuck.”

Sakura blanched. “It’s not what it looks like—”

“My poor Sakura! Being pulled into the nefarious clutches of Anti-Christ!” Naruto kept going. He would’ve made a great Shakespearan actor if he could remember something for more than 20 seconds. He suddenly leapt up and pulled a random passerby.

“She’s ruined!” he cried, shaking the terrified-looking pedestrian. Imagine, a tall, well-built blond stopped you randomly and shook _you_. Of course you would be terrified.

“Naruto!” Sakura hissed, using her Muay Thai strength to pull him away. She turned to the pedestrian, who was getting his backpack off the ground. “I am so sorry!”

The pedestrian looked like he was about to yell at her, before he got a good look at her and her big, apologetic eyes. He checked her out appreciatively.

“It’s all good,” he chuckled. “I’m Morio. Do you have Snap?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Sasuke hissed and pulled her behind him, his eyes taking on that signature Uchiha red gleam.

“In fact, she has no social media! Nothing! Not even a phone! Yeah, she only has an old utility phone!” Naruto blocked Sakura from view, crossing his arms intimidatingly.

“Now scram, vermin,” Sasuke sniffed, looking at Morio like he was merely a bug under his Gucci sneakers.

Morio looked undeterred and looked over their shoulders at the confused Sakura. “Let the lady speak for herself, it’s the 21st century.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow, a frown pulling at his lips and looking eerily similar to his politician father. “You really wanna mess with the son of a Senator and a main-house Uchiha?”

The poor man paled. “Ah, I-I actually need to get to a class really soon. Goodbye!”

Poor Sakura looked even more confused, not really aware she was being hit-on.

Naruto looked down at her after glaring at Morio’s fleeing back. “See? Men ain’t shit.”

“Men are vile, disgusting creatures and Itachi happens to be one. You cannot go out with him!” Sasuke seethed.

“You say that as if you both aren’t men.”

Naruto shook his head. “We don’t count.”

“The fuck?”

Sasuke sighed before taking Sakura’s shoulders. “We need to have this talk. You must be _cautious_ , Sakura.” He stressed.

“Sakura-chan, _please_ reconsider! Uhm, we can tutor you!,” He turned to Sasuke “Right, Sasuke?”

The black-haired man nodded.

“Neither of you even took AP Chemistry in high school, how are you supposed to help me in _Organic Chemistry_?”

Both were about the protest, but Sakura shut them down with a signature “don’t fuck with me” glare.

“No, this stops right here, right now. You all ruined my dates before they even started and this isn’t even a fucking date! I’m studying one of the most boring subjects in the world with someone that just happens to be your Anti-Christ older brother. It’s nothing to worry about!”

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each, before sighing in resignation. They knew when Sakura got like that there was no way out. (They are so well trained!).

“Well, if you insist,” Naruto sighed. “Here. Bring this.”

He reached into his bag, solemnly putting a cylindrically-shaped object in her palm.

“Huh?”

“It’s pepper spray,” Sasuke explained as she tried to figure out how the mechanism worked. 

“It’s like bug-spray, but instead of bugs you get rid of men,” Naruto said gravely.

Sakura looked funnily at the uncharacteristically grave-looking men.

“Gentlemen, are we forgetting this is the man who replaced all my pens with invisible ink pens? You really think he’s gonna try something?” she asked disbelievingly.

“Sakura, he’s a man. You wouldn’t understand,” Sasuke said.

As both Sasuke and Naruto began to trade off on warning her about the tactics of men, Sakura cursed OChem for putting her into this mess.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, haha. Anyways, I’m super duper glad you’re liking how I fleshed Madara out! I was seriously not expecting this reception, so thank you everyone :)))
> 
> Notes:  
> Y’all remember Morio? He’s that soldier who gave Sakura a love letter in the middle of the war expressing his love of her. Thought you’d like an updated version of a love letter: a Snap invitation.  
> Next chapter: Sakura and Itachi’s study date and more Akatsuki (specifically, a red-haired Saudi Prince) shenanigans.


	10. College Tingz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura studies with Itachi. Sasori chooses to ignore that consent is sexy.

As Sakura swiped her University pass to get into the library, her phone buzzed.

_Itachi Uchiha: I reserved a study room, wait for me. I’ll be there in a few_

Huh, that was nice of him. Sakura dawdled in the lobby of the library before spotting a bench to sit down on. She cracked open her OChem textbook to recheck what standards would be covered on the upcoming test.

“Hello, I’m sorry but the University Library requires high schoolers to register for a pass first.”

Sakura looked up to see a serious-looking woman she had never seen at the library before leaning over her. The middle-aged woman had her dark hair up in a tight bun and was dressed in a sharp suit.

“HI!” Sakura said sunnily. “I’m actually a student here at Konoha U.”

The lady smiled fakely. “Nice try, sweetie. Now please follow me to the registration desk so we can get you properly documented.”

 _We’re not criminals coming into the station, Christ!_ Sakura thought heatedly.

“Ma’am, I really am serious. Here’s my student ID.”

The lady snatched up Sakura’s card and peered at it closer, running her eyes over the grooves and scratches of the card. She even lifted the card up to the light, causing Sakura’s jaw to drop at the sheer audacity.

She wasn’t _that_ young looking, was she?

“Hm. Fine,” the lady (librarian?) sneered before almost dropping Sakura’s ID. “Either way, what were you doing dawdling in the lobby? This place is busy. You’d know if you came here often.”

The lady ran her eyes over Sakura’s flowery sundress and Sakura’s jaw dropped even further at the sexist insinuation.

_I don’t care who she is, but this Karen is about to get drop-kicked into the next fucking week!_

“ _Excuse_ me—?”

“Sakura.”

Sakura stopped and saw Itachi striding towards her, dressed impeccably in a simple t-shirt and well-fitting jeans with a leather backpack slung over his broad shoulders.

Once he reached the pair, he put a hand on Sakura’s shoulder as if to calm her. “Ma’am, I’m here to claim a study room for both of us.”

The Karen gaped at the tall, good-looking man over Sakura’s shoulder and her face blushed unattractively, splotchy patches covering her cheeks. “O-Of course. Name?”

He regarded the lady emotionlessly, in a way Sasuke frequently attempted to recreate until his hot temper got in the way. “Uchiha.”

The lady uneasily walked behind the desk and typed in the famous name into the system. “Ah, y-yes. 6 to 8 pm, study room 5 on the 7th floor?”

He nodded imperiously and the previously confident Karen fumbled when printing out his receipt. “Thank you.”

Without ceremony and his hand _still_ on Sakura’s shoulder, he guided the pair of them to the elevators and completely ignored the lady.

As they got on the elevator, Sakura stared incredulously at Itachi. “How do you do that?”

He chuckled, looking at her beneath his unfairly long lashes. “Confidence.”

Sakura waved that away. “Yeah, yeah, but whenever I try something like that it never works!”

She quickly became aware how tall he was compared to her, her head only coming to his collarbone, and how close they were together in the elevator. That damnable cologne of his filled her nose and she felt out of depth in the face of how _mature_ he seemed. Bestfriend's older brother he was, with his sharp jawline and the teasing tilt to his lips.

His gaze caught hers and she swallowed, unable to look away but a rose hue effusing her cheeks. Fuck her if her eyes deceived her, but she thought she saw Itachi’s eyes briefly dart down to her lips.

The spell was broken as he laughed once again, and tapped her on the nose like a small little dog. “It’s because you’re too adorable.”

_Akjhsdfkhadlfasdfdf what was THAT oh my god—_

While Sakura had the second freak-out today over Itachi, they soon got to their study room. Setting their stuff done, Itachi eased himself into a chair and leaned across the small table to Sakura.

“Alright, so tell me what’s confusing you and what’s going to be covered in your next text.”

Sakura explained her confusion while Itachi nodded, seemingly understanding her rambling train of thought. Somehow, he went through the points she didn’t understand in a completely logical manner that was easy to comprehend, and made total sense.

“So you— oh! Okay, I see it now,” Sakura told him, eyes shining.

His lips tilted up into a small smile. “So what happens when you…”

And on they went, continuing through the Unit and Sakura getting more clarification on the finer points the text book did not elaborate on as much.

They finally hit on a snag when Sakura pointed out a concept that was found nowhere in the textbook. Itachi peered at it for a moment before frowning, tugging at his low pony-tail.

“That? Why would that be on your test?”

“See, I don’t know!” Sakura groaned, throwing her hands up in the air. “I hate Dr. Utakane.”

He hummed. “You can still do this with OChem 1 concepts, but it’s much easier to understand conceptually with OChem 2 knowledge. I’m confused why your professor would do that since you won’t even be needing this until next semester.”

“Ugh.”

“I can teach you a bit, then.”

When finished a sharp and succinct explanation of pertinent OChem content, Sakura peeked at him through her bangs.

“Itachi, did you take OChem 2? You have a really good grasp at this.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, before leaning back in his chair and stretching. At that moment, she realized how close they had gotten to each other over the course of the session. She sort of missed the heat he radiated with his head close to hers, explaining the legality of molecules in his low, calm voice. “No, I fortunately did not have to.”

Sakura put her chin on the palm of her hands and looked up at him, his ponytail falling messily over his shoulder and lithe body extending completely. “Ne, Itachi, how are you so smart?”

To her surprise, he did not immediately reply with a pithy, arrogant remark. A moment passed and instead, his eyes shifted to the floor and he smiled bitterly.

“I assume you know how Father is?”

Sakura grimaced, but nodded. If she had to describe Fugaku Uchiha in one word, it’d be _unyielding_. That was a man set in his own ways, convinced that every other way outside of his own was wrong. The pressure he put on Sasuke to succeed caused a lot of almost-irreparable emotional damage, until Sakura and Naruto pulled him out of that dark hole he found himself in. Yet, even to this day, Sasuke was left with vicious self-esteem issues.

“I have no doubt you saw what he put Sasuke through to succeed academically but I assure you it was almost unbearable for me.”

Her eyes widened. Sasuke’s older, perfect brother struggled under Fugaku’s expectations too?

“For years, I was expected to be extremely well-rounded. Father gave me tutors on top of my advanced coursework during school _and_ multiple extracurriculars. Luckily, I was astute enough to stay afloat. Even in college, freshman and sophomore years, he expected me to excel in the core curriculum Konoha offers. I got another slate of tutors in the subjects he… _suggested_ I take. Yet, somehow, he demanded more.”

Itachi smiled sourly, but his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. 

Sakura blurted out, “If you give so much of yourself to him, what’s left for you?”

The black-haired senior’s eyebrows drew together and suddenly looked pensive, and impulsively Sakura took his hand.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing.”

He studied her face gravely, eyes flicking from her sincere eyes and tiny, nervous smile.

“Even if you are kinda evil.”

He let out a sudden bark of laughter, squeezing her exponentially smaller hand as if to say “thank you” before releasing it.

“Enough about me, Sakura. I’m here to help you.”

* * *

“Do you need a ride, Sakura?”

Sakura looked up at Itachi in the breezy, warm night outside of the library. “A-ah no, I can just get an Uber or something—”

“Nonsense. I’m driving you back to your dorm.”

He took her smaller hand in his and started to lead her over to his stupidly expensive car (and no, Sakura _totally_ did not Google it after Ino told her what it was) at the edge of the parking lot.

She tumbled a bit after him. “N-no! It's totally alright! I’m sure you have something to do besides cart around little old me—”

He snorted, pulling her closer so she could keep up with his stride. “My mother would not hear of it. Besides, Sasuke would hate me even more if I just left you. Come.”

_Oh my god I CANNOT go through what happened yesterday or else I’m going to die oh no—_

Politely, he opened her door first for her and she nervously plopped herself down on his butter-soft chair. He quickly rounded the car to get into the driver’s seat.

He did that _thing_ again where he put a hand over the back of her seat to brace himself and Sakura shouldn’t have found it as hot as she thought it was. And then he did the _other thing_ where he shifted gears and his arm got entirely close to her body and Sakura felt like she was going to combust. And for the cherry on top, she got a whiff of that musky smelling cologne that never seemed to let go of her senses and her tummy flopped oddly.

As he turned to the main road, he looked at the time and swore. “Shit Sakura, it’s late. Do you need food?”

It really _was_ late. The orange streetlights illuminated the dark, breezy night. “No, I couldn’t possibly ask any more of you—”

He gave her a quelling look.

“No, look, I’m not even hungry! I also have a sandwich I can make at my dorm. It’s all good.”

Itachi seemed disbelieving, but let it go as he revved up the engine. They soon got to the front of Sakura’s dorm after a car ride of peek-a-boo glances and minute brushes of skin.

“Thank you, Itachi. For tutoring and the ride home.”

“You’re fine. Don’t hesitate to ask me if you need anything else, alright? You might have to take care of the frat but, don’t forget, we also take care of _you_.”

And in that moment, he looked entirely too caring with his usually narrowed eyes soft, for once, and harsh, handsome face subdued.

“Yeah, uh, kthanksbye!”

Sakura clenched her pencil pouch _hard_ as she entered her dorm building while a certain older brother smirked smugly.

* * *

Sakura quickly jotted down notes as the meeting for the Organismic and Evolutionary Biology Undergraduate Group (OEBUG), listening intently for key points she had to list down. The group was a popular one among pre-med students at Konoha U since it served as an entry point to the medical profession. Sakura personally loved the group of like-minded students who were all interested in bettering the world, except…

“And finally,” Sasori, the Chair of OEBUG stated, “there is an upcoming competition at the end of the year. It’s the BioGENEius challenge— yes, horrible pun and all— but one that has serious grant money. I advise you all to look into it and we’ll post the information on our website.”

 _BioGENEius Challenge— Look—onto—website— for—info_ Sakura jotted down.

“It’s a partnered challenge and last year, we swept 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes and simultaneously knocked Kumo and Iwa out of the podium. I’d like to continue that tradition.”

Murmurs swept across the room of a hundred or so people, excited that they could possibly win the prestigious International competition. Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura could see students eagerly turn to each other.

“Anyway, meeting dismissed. Have a donut on your way out. Thanks for attending and I hope to see you next month.”

The volume in the room only got louder as students filed out, eagerly discussing the competition with their friends.

Sasori lazily turned to the rest of the officers, who were happily helping themselves to the donuts.

“We’ll be having a speaker next month and then the social luncheon after that, so please look out for information in your inboxes. We’ll have an officer meeting soon.”

Everyone nodded and quickly started to pack their stuff up, Sakura included, before Sasori hopped off the desk he was sitting on and blocked her way.

“Hi, Sasori,” Sakura said resignedly. 

He tsked and grasped her chin. “Sakura, how _excited_ you are to see me," he grinned, an easy slant to his eye. He always did this to her when she was younger.

She rolled her eyes and jerked away from him. “Go away,” she complained half-heartedly.

If possible, he rolled his eyes even harder than her and crossed his arms. “Now, that’s no way to talk to your Chair, is it?”

She gave him a deadpan look. “Alright, what do you want?”

He smirked amusedly. “Can’t I just have a conversation with my favorite underclassman?”

“No.”

Sasori snorted. “Fine. Anyways, I heard Itachi tutored you for OChem a few days ago?”

Sakura gave him a look. “Yes? How do you even know that?”

He waved his hand. “I have my sources.”

Sasori lightly took her by the elbow and stared intently at her until she was forced to look up at him. “You know you could’ve asked me, right? We’re both on the pre-med track— he isn’t.”

The pink haired girl huffed. “He was just conveniently there, okay? There wasn’t any sort of play going on, Sasori.”

He hummed. “Next time, come to me.”

Sakura rolled her eyes at this weird show of male posturing. “ _Sure_.”

Sasori’s lips tilted into a smirk before continuing in that damnable posh accent of his. “Anyways, I wanted to discuss the BioGENEius competition with you.”

“Yeah, what about it?” she asked. “Do I need to do anything for the club?”

He shook his head, hair the color of dried blood sweeping briefly over his eyes. “No, I wanted to ask if you would consider partnering with me.”

“Huh?”

“I placed second last year and that seriously pissed me off. First place will be mine, and the only worthy students in this club are you and Kabuto. I would rather cut my limbs off than work that _man_ ,” he hissed.

Feeling secretly flattered, Sakura raised an eyebrow. “Uh, okay, but me? I’m a measly sophomore and I literally have no idea what I’m doing half the time.”

He gave her a look that said “seriously?”

“We’re partnering. I’ll text you.”

With that, he sauntered out of the lecture hall.

Sakura was speechless, but quickly regained her wits. “I thought I told you consent is _sexy_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, we’re finally getting a closer up look at the boys!
> 
> Notes:
> 
> A “Karen” is a lady that kicks up a shit when things don’t go her way. Usually a middle-aged woman. Look up on Urban Dictionary for a better definition. 
> 
> Coming Up: Sakura passes her OChem test and Itachi is one smooth fucker. Also, Akastuki flex like the rich brats they are.

**Author's Note:**

> pls comment and give me some kudos :))))


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